And although I don't think anyone should "settle," you gotta be careful of lists and ideals, especially the first few weeks.

This. The part in the article about living with someone you don't like just in order to share chores is kind of ridiculous. But I think it's a good point that when you find someone who is good for you, you will worry that you're settling. The person you love is not going to be someone you will want to proudly introduce to the 17-year-old you, because 17-year-old you thought you were going to marry Prince William. It makes me kind of crazy when real-life single friends dismiss guys because they are different from the romantic ideal. So to the extent the article is trying to urge not doing that, I agree.

On the other hand, I think most women easily get over the settling thing, and if you're single and looking it's probably not because you're crazy or unrealistic.

There aren't just pre-electronic, they're pre-electric, calculators.

Isn't that an abacus?

Didja look? It's all about the gears, baby--steampunk all the way.

The last guy I turned down was months and months ago, and I demurred because he wasn't interesting. I don't consider that to be something to settle on--the only thing that separated him from the pack was that he found me interesting. Was the converse too much to ask? I have been told that, yes, it is too much to ask. But I'd like to keep my self respect. It could come in handy down the road sometime.

I can't remember the last time I even thought about a romantic ideal as being applicable to my life.

So to the extent the article is trying to urge not doing that, I agree.

Very little extent, though. Mostly it's about sleeping with your childcare provider.

And although I don't think anyone should "settle," you gotta be careful of lists and ideals, especially the first few weeks.

I think it depends on what the red flag is, and how much it matters to you to be a part of a couple. Unreasonably high standards are only unreasonable to the point where they're making you more miserable than the alternative.

Was the converse too much to ask?

SERIOUSLY!! It really shouldn't be!!! ugh

when I had an eharmony account, anyone that I agreed to an initial date with would get at least 3 dates if:

- they asked for at least every other date - they did not make me feel physically unsafe - they did not offend me

lowest standards ever and I only had a third date with 1 guy.

Man, the temperature has dropped more than 10 degrees since this morning.

I think potentially misleading red flags could be looks, or other physical characteristics; job and income; interests; beliefs; sophistication and education. I think wanting to spend time with the other person is a non-negotiable, real red flag. Most of the other stuff you will get over if the latter is there.

This is what Connie needs for her cat:

[link]

I have things to say about singleness and stuff, but am too brane ded.

I would love a partner, but I don't think I could ever trust someone who would pick me if they had ANY other choice.(Mostly, people don't, you know.) And like, what's most attractive? The sarcastic attitude, the joblessness, the assloads of debt, or the way I always have to have help around? Yeah, that's hot.

Helicopter flight was a success: I got to sit in the copilot's seat. What I learned: helicopters are really frelling loud and there's no graceful way to get in and out of them. I had to wear a survival suit over my clothes, and I'm so glad it fit! Pity about the view, though: it was mostly grey and overcast, so we didn't see as much awesome scenery as I would have liked. But the guys were awesome, and I'd love to go again some time.

That sounds awesome! What was it for? Just fun? My grandmother did a helicopter ride for one of her big birthdays, and loved it. And wanted to set up the pilot with one of us granddaughters.

I just totally blew off a meeting with my boss, and feel awesome about it.

I think wanting to spend time with the other person is a non-negotiable, real red flag. Most of the other stuff you will get over if the latter is there.

And this has always been my criterion for a next date: Am I interested in spending another couple of hours with the person?