Yay Aimee!

{{sj}}

I just got back from trapeze. Had a good day. Was able to do something that I've been having trouble with for a while now. Am now exhausted. Slept the whole way back from Baltimore. And I can feel that I will be sore all over tomorrow. But still, good day.

Oooh! Boss finally posted my job on CL.

Aims, SO many congratulations! I'm SO pleased!

So many hugs for sj. Poor you, sweetie! Hang in there!

Happy b-day, Sonus.

Yay, Askye! I'm so happy that you are doing well.

{{{sj}}} I've driven under... well, tried to drive under a car port with an extension-top van. So I completely know about feeling stupid.

If I mow the lawn then go get some chocolate, it won't violate the diet, will it? I mean, it is the natural order of things, to reward yard work with treats.

Oooh! Boss finally posted my job on CL.

Har! Am I a horrible person for wanting you to either translate his posting from Bullshit Weaselspeak to English, or just MST3K the everliving hell out of it?

I was thinking we could all apply just to fuck with him.

I was thinking we could all apply just to fuck with him.

I bow before your superior evil.

Now we just have to wait to see what Sparky comes up with.

Har! Am I a horrible person for wanting you to either translate his posting from Bullshit Weaselspeak to English, or just MST3K the everliving hell out of it?

And then post that to CL?

I s'pose that would be wrong, wouldn't it?

Oooh! Boss finally posted my job on CL.

Let's all apply!

Bookkeeper/Accounting Manager

Ann Arbor & Downtown Detroit

Growing Real Estate Management and Development Company, with offices in downtown Detroit and Ann Arbor seeks hands on, energetic, entrepreneurial team member to assist in managing our portfolio of fifteen properties. Position offers long term stability and is an excellent growth opportunity.

Provided you act like a slave, think like a slave, and don't mind giving up your entire life but fot the benefit of The Firm. Also, long term provided I don't lose my ass.

Individual will be responsible for the bookkeeping, accounts payable, accounts receivable, and payroll for our fifteen properties in Ann Arbor, Ypsilanti, and Detroit. Individual must work well with limited supervision.

And not mind spyware on your computer because I don't trust my employees to be able to act ike adults and get their work done. Also, limited supervision means, "except for when I want to micromanage. Which is always."

Multitasking and ability to adapt to change is a must.

Experience with moody, arrogant children in their mid-twenties definite bonus.

Position will be based out of our Ann Arbor office, but will require travel to Detroit occasionally.

Duties will include but are not limited to the following:

General:

- Handle incoming calls to the company, specifically calls related to accounting etc.

- Meet weekly with company President and Property Manager.

Financial:

- Assist in assuring properties are managed to achieve maximum profitability.

Must enjoy browbeating tenants for rent. I don't care what the economy is.

- Provide timely and accurate financial data to property owners including general ledger, balance sheets, cash flow statements, rent rolls, etc.

Must look exactly like reports I get for other company that uses an entirely different software package. Also, mistakes are not an option.

- Handle all accounts receivable and accounts payable matters for several entities.

Enter all payables, but don't actually pay anyhing cause there ain't any money to do so anyhow.

- Receive rents.

- Input rents, deposits, and lease documentation into Rent Manager system.

- Manage payroll with external payroll service.

- Manage the books for several different entities/companies at the same time.

See above re: no money to run these other properties.

- Maintain a complete filing system and have the ability to produce filed documents in a timely manner.

Must be willing to drive all of the way back to work on a Friday night to locate file I didn't feel like looking for when it wasn't in the first drawer I tried even though it was right there when you came in and got it.

Individual must possess the following skills:

- History of experience with property management accounting software.

- Strong minded and strong can-do attitude.

But not TOO strong minded - I'm still the boss of you.

- Outstanding interpersonal and communication skills

See above re: moody, arrogant boss.

- Ability to solve problems.

But they had best be the solutions I wanted in the first place.

- Microsoft Office skills

- Ability to learn Rent Manager computer program

- Organized

- Attention to detail

- Punctual

- High Tolerance for ambiguity.

Read: High tolerance for my bullshit.

Requirements:

- Minimum 1 year management or related business experience.

- Minimum 2 year accounting/bookkeeping experience

- High School Diploma

- College degree in business, accounting, or finance preferred although not necessary.

Also preferred if employee not pursuing a degree as that would lead to a too strong thinker.

Individual is not expected to have the experience or knowledge in all aspects of the duties and skills above, but must maintain a positive attitude and have the ability to grow into the position as described.

Individual also not expected to have any other life but for the one I provide. (continued...)