What's a tactful way to say "No presents" on a birthday party invitation for a 1-year old? (I know it's a month off, but I am Miss Plannypants today.) We have way too much stuff already.

(I mean, I know the grandparents will get us presents no matter what we say, but I don't want anyone to feel pressured into bringing something.)

Maybe I should tell people to bring food for the party instead of gifts.

Food for the party is good, and suggest an org for donations (first book? msbelle's orphanage (which now looks so very wrong, written out like that)? some other kid-focused charity?) for the generosity overflow. People really want to give gifts even when they rationally understand that you don't want the stuff.

And I'm pretty sure there's no way to stop grandparents.

I've seen phrasing along the lines of presents should be presence... or something.

Man, it's so oppressively hot and stuffy in my office, I can't even think.

Or work in a joke about the apartment overflowing, or stepping on grandmparents' right to spoil or something?

Jessica - we've gone with "please no gifts" and "presence, not presents" - however, people will bring things anyway and then you're caught in the 'make a big deal over the gifts?' quandary.

don't get me wrong - we looove presents - and we like parties too... but yeah, sometimes it is a little too much in combo.

cereal - again

on the other hand, we once (2 years ago) received a rhymed poem about what the child did need, what sizes he was, and - no shit - a list of things that were not needed. All of which made me blow up with the RUDE. This from a neighbor, not a relative.

however, people will bring things anyway and then you're caught in the 'make a big deal over the gifts?' quandary.

I wouldn't make a big deal over the gifts. When people don't listen, they don't get what they want. But, then, I'm a bitch that way.

I went to a no gift party and someone gave the birthday person/host a gift. They said thank you, and put it aside. The person said "aren't you going to open it?" She said "not right now. If you want to stay through the end of the party and the clean up, I'll open it then." They shut up.

What's a tactful way to say "No presents" on a birthday party invitation for a 1-year old? (I know it's a month off, but I am Miss Plannypants today.) We have way too much stuff already.

Sadly, I don't think there is one. Invitations shouldn't have any references to gifts. But if you really don't want them to bring gifts, I would mention it when they RSVP.

Maybe I should tell people to bring food for the party instead of gifts.

Do you really want people to bring food? Again I don't think I would put that on the invite, but rather mention it when they RSVP.

on the other hand, we once (2 years ago) received a rhymed poem about what the child did need, what sizes he was, and - no shit - a list of things that were not needed. All of which made me blow up with the RUDE. This from a neighbor, not a relative.

Did you save it? Can we point and laugh?

That is seriously out of control.

Do you really want people to bring food? Again I don't think I would put that on the invite, but rather mention it when they RSVP.

problem is, people don't RSVP. Even when you ask.