I don't mean to take crap from them, you know, I just... part of it is that I have trouble enforcing rules when I don't understand the reason for them. So, well, this year I learned a lot of reasons, which will help me next year. They're the stupid reasons I always hated, like, "I can't trust everyone to do this responsibly, so I can't let you do it even though you would," or "other students have stuck gum in the sewing machines, so you can't chew gum in home ec class" (that's from when I was in eighth grade), but there you are. And I needed to experience it before I could commit to it, so this has been a very useful year in that regard.

I got email this morning from someone named Lweendo. NOT spam - actual first name.

Hell, I know that one year at a Czech High School of teaching conversational English to 16-18 year olds (granted I had no teaching training at all at that point, so really hadn't considered behaviour management one way or another...but I'm not at all convinced that I would have been much better if I HAD the training) was enough to convince me, for years, that I would be a bloody useless teacher. It's so hard, especially when you aren't (or don't feel) much older than them, to draw the lines - and as you say, there are things that you just don't WANT to come out with!

I had NO control over them. I made the mistake of thinking I could just be friendly and entertaining, rather than starting out by being a hardass bitch and then dialling it down... It was a pretty good learning experience for me, but it still makes me wince, thinking back on it.

Man. Six year olds - SO much easier to terrorise!

t breathe

Okay, trying to bring it down a notch today. Thanks to my crazy brain chemistry (anxious much?), I am on cycle day 41 and I really need it to end for everyone's sake. I allowed myself a vanilla latte (yum!) and had an Odwalla banana nut bar for b'fast.

Crappity. Just hung up on my mom. Today is the House Inspection and Termite Inspection. She is stressing cause the house still has boxes and stuff everywhere and she can't find the broom. I'm at work. I have no idea where the broom is. The kids didn't poop-scoop. Again, I'm at work - can't help from here. Yes, they should have done it. But again, I'm at work.

Yesterday was worse - imagine similar and yet I was working from home with a sick boy. Still WORKING.

Damn I want a drink - oh, but wait - I'M AT WORK.

{{{Bitches}}}

Asshat boss has passive aggressively not approved my travel for a conference in San Diego. Yes, it's in San Diego, and it's a nice place to be -- that's why they hold conferences in nice places-- but, I need to go both for the information and the fact that YOU GAVE ME A MOTHERFUCKING TWO OUT OF FOUR ON MY EVALUATION LAST YEAR FOR PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT.

Do not make suggestions about the so-called "Leadership Academy" on campus, whose current offerings are: Public speaking (like I need that), Investment strategies (what does that have to do with my job?), Stress management (not killing you?), Improving your Operational Processes. Are you kidding me?

And the bullshit about the Center for Teaching and Learning is just that - bullshit. Your little chuckle and "maybe you'll teach someday" was condescending and annoying. Not to mention that I HAVE TAUGHT AT THE LAW SCHOOL LEVEL, YOU SMARMY SON OF A BITCH. It has nothing to do with my current job, and therefore is not helpful for professional development. Or is that not a requirement? ASSHAT!!!!

umm, sorry about the asscaps, but I'm kind of livid. If you couldn't tell.

ugh what a bad week for bosses. Fuck them all up their stupid asses.

Vortex - your boss is wishing to join the buffista fuckwadboss parade?

::flips off and rickrolls Vortex's boss::

farts in general direction of all the AsshatBuffistaBosses