Cheers, love! (And then if I do find that this helps me get back into poking the GreatUnfinishedNovel with a stick, perhaps I might send you some of my WIP, maybe? For your thoughts?)

Meanwhile, advice sought from the Hivemind!

So my friend D is mad into reiki and crystals and healing and all this jazz. Knowing that she was quite psychic & into such things, I brought her along to a reiki session maybe six months ago or so - I'd drunkenly agreed to go along and do a weekend reiki course with a friend, and had found the experience...interesting, but not particularly convincing. However, my friend D was pretty depressed, had no money, and this seemed like a good way for her to hook up with other folks who were interested in spooky psychic/alternative healing things, as well as the fact that it was free for her to come and get a treatment.

Well, of course she's very into it, has gone on to do Reiki 1 and Reiki 2 and various other courses, and loves the guy who runs the centre, and went down to do a meditation course for 2 weeks with him at Hua Hin (at which she actually spent a lot of time helping him build his new spa) and is helping him write his book (ie he babbles a load of crap at her, and she's his amenuensis. Which I can't spell, and am perhaps misusing, but what the hell).

And whilst I remain open-minded on the topic of reiki in general, catagorising it along with Christianity, Islam, Buddism, Animism and any other non-scientific 'here's how the world works' philosophy*, I'm pretty much of the opinion that this bloke is totally full of shit. (Which I did more or less say to her in the first place, when I invited her along to the original reiki session.) I don't know whether he's full of shit and yet sincere, or full of shit and sneakily manipulative. But full of shit he most emphatically is, imho.

But, you know, I could have the same feelings about a particular priest or a rabbi or a whatever, without feeling the urge to tell a friend that they shouldn't go to that person's church/temple/whatever, you know? I mean - yes, she's spending money on his courses, but if it's giving her focus and happiness and so forth then I don't neccesarily think that's a bad thing. As such. Although I'm sort of divided on it.

Anyway, sorry - point being, she's presently writing his book for him. Which - I'm not madly comfortable with, but it's her life, her choice (she's 41, after all) and she's enjoying the responsibility. So fine. I think he's taking advantage of her, rather, but she's enjoying the job, and they're doing some quid pro quo where she gets the meditation course for free or whatever, and since she values that then it's all relative.

She's just asked me, on facebook chat, if I (and a mutual friend) could help her with it. Basically edit it for her, because she's trying to turn his gibbered stream-of-consciousness into a coherent book about reiki. With the intention of getting it published.

And I did not have the spine to say: "No." I havered instead, saying I'd have to speak to [mutual friend] and that it would be lovely to see her, and all that. I didn't say yes. I didn't say no either.

But I really do not think that this guy should get to benefit from my skills. Not at all. I paid around $250-$300 for the freaking Reiki weekend, and I'm glad I went and did it, but I definitely think that it was a crock of shit, and would have been expensive at a tenth of the price.

...I like my friend, and I want to support her. I do slightly wish I'd never taken her along to this place, but then it's given her a lot of pleasure, and she IS a grownup. But - I do not want to do this.

Any suggestions for how I can manage to refuse to do this for HIM, whilst minimising the hurt/offense it will cause her? Because I'm flailing a bit at the moment.

eta: * upon rereading, I'm concerned that this will come off as disparaging, but it really isn't meant to be.

Hrm. Maybe you could say that you'd be happy to, assuming that if the book makes any profit you'll be reimbursed for your share, as you assume she's going to be? Which might at least bring up the topic of 'are you getting your rightful percentage of this?', and such.

Unless you really don't want to do it altogether, in which case you could just say that you're too busy, or if you're feeling braver, that you think he's a bit dodgy and don't want to help him in his dodginess.

See, it's so difficult to say 'I think he's full of shit' without the implication being 'I think that everything he's telling you about past lives and angels and fairies and distance healing is full of shit, and that you're deluding yourself.'

Um.

Because when she talks about all this malarky, I just make interested and non-commital noises. (Much as I would if it were any other belief-system to which I do not subscribe.) I mean, he does this whole answer-a-question-with-a-question thing...but it's not because it's Yoda, it's because he doesn't know the answer, and wants to give a facade of depth. And people who have spent $200+ on a course WANT to believe that it's real, and that they're special, and that they're seers, or they were an Egyptian sorceress in a former life, or whatever. So they believe that he holds the secrets of the universe.

headdesk

Hey, I'm not saying that there are no seers, no past lives, no fairies - just because it's outside my experience doesn't make it invalid, and I have other friends who have had plenty of spooky ghostly experiences. There are more things between heaven and earth and all that. I'm just saying that THIS bloke is talking a load of shite, and that I trust him about as far as I could throw Canterbury Cathedral.

As to asking for remuneration...I don't know, Jars. If it were something she was doing for herself, I'd have no qualms about helping her out, and wouldn't be asking for a share of any profits. But I actively don't want to help him. Argh.

See, if I were more like Cordelia, this wouldn't be happening to me. 'Cause I'd just be saying 'Nope, you're full of shit' to his face, rather than being polite and asking pointed questions, and I'd have already said 'I think he's ripping you off'. Argh. Tact=not for the win.

Could you not mention the whole bullshitty thing at all, and just say that you don't feel comfortable with his personality, but you totally understand why she does, etc.? Or, again, maybe just say that you're busy, and avoid conflict at all, which is probably what I'd do. Lies! They make the world go around!

Lies! They make the world go around!

Yeah, who am I kidding? I'll just run away and prevaricate if cornered.

Lies! They make the world go around!

So true!

So, I just got an e-mail in response to a poll I sent out, requesting guest availability for dates and times for a presentation on my and my friend J's theses. Well, one of the people e-mailed me back and said, "Any of these times are fine. Just let me know. I didn't take the poll." Um...the whole purpose of the poll is so I have that information in ONE PLACE. VOTE, DAMMIT!

I'm gonna go vote for him.

If it were me, I'd just go the "That's really too big a project for me to take on right now" route. Lies are the lubricant that makes civilization possible.

I think people have to wake up from that type of delusion on their own. I don't think there's any point in trying to talk her out of it, unless she's about to give all her money to this guy and quit her job to go on a quest for fairies.

Fay, can't you just say that you don't have the kind of free time that such a project would require? t edit (x-post with Ginger!) Or do you also want to address the "What are you DOING?!?" aspect of it as well?

I think Steph now has a Lucy clone too, but hers uses an alias.

Kato, the vampire slayer.

Or you could say you don't like him without bringing up all the other stuff you're afraid she'll take personally. I mean... nothing wrong with not liking people.

Fay, I rather like the idea of deflecting the book-edit request with, "Nope, sorry, can't possibly," while making vague noises about not having the time to devote to it. If she is so enthusiastic she starts sounding like she won't take no for an answer, tell her, "There is something about this guy's energy that feels off to me. My heart tells me the vibes that would come through his words would be inimical to my highest path. And I really must listen to my own intuition on this."