But this sounds like still sick, and taking an extra day to get yourself healthy will only help you in the longer term. For all values of "longer term" starting the day after tomorrow.

Well, I just managed to load the dishwasher (v. necessary, since we're completely out of clean glasses) and wasn't so tired at the end I immediately needed to go sit down, so that's a start. I'll play it by ear, and if I go in I might just stay long enough to get the ball into someone else's court WRT sorting out the payroll mess, then go home.

To deal with that I try to remind myself that these ARE the choices I have made and if I don't like the results (notice, I'm talking about ME, not what others think) then it is up to me to change and make new choices.

{{{Suzi}}}

That sounds related to another one of the lessons I've learned recently enough that I tend to forget it when under stress...namely that I can only move forward and that there's no point in beating myself up for poor career choices in 1993 or poor financial choices in 2001.

Susan, it sounds like you're on the right track by talking with the career counselor. I think you may need to seek some other kind of job that will make you feel more fulfilled regardless of what happens with your writing. It feels like you have been bouncing from one unfulfilling job to the next, and I suspect that a career shift might mitigate some of the other feelings you've been struggling with.

Yeah. I feel like if I were more content with my day job, I'd have an easier time dealing with the wait to be published, and/or I'd be more open to going with a small press or e-pub, because it'd be something I did because of love and drive to tell stories, not that plus desperate need to find a way out of my current situation.

Go team Taking Charge of Our Lives! It's hard work, but the alternative is a real drag.

Free career counseling is awesome, Susan!

And I'm someone who is very much like "Eh, my job is not something I love love doing, but it's better than most of what I could do 40 hours a week, and pays pretty good, so I'm OK with that" I'd love to have something I feel passionately about, but something I'm decent at that pays well is not to be sniffed at. Except when I'm tired and don't want to get out of bed in the morning. :)

This might be easier if I didn't spend so much time trying to ignore people staring at my crutches or the way I walk.

Aww. In your mind, what are they thinking? Cause personally, I'm probably going "Huh. Crutches. Or not crutches, those other things. Wonder what she's got? How would I do if I were on crutches? Eesh, I hadn't realized there were so many stairs here, that sucks...stairs, stairs, I should go to the gym..." all while staring blankly towards you. Sorry!

Aww. In your mind, what are they thinking? Cause personally, I'm probably going "Huh. Crutches. Or not crutches, those other things. Wonder what she's got? How would I do if I were on crutches? Eesh, I hadn't realized there were so many stairs here, that sucks...stairs, stairs, I should go to the gym..." all while staring blankly towards you. Sorry!

Meara is me. Add, also, "wow, those would come in handy when I really want to thwap something from five feet away and my ass is planted on the couch."

Glad you are on the mend, Susan. I always find that period of being ill when I am not feeling as bad as I had but I am not yet well to be somewhat demoralizing. Like I have the energy to notice what's wrong or needs doing, but not the energy to fix or do.

Sparrow is no longer in the spot I left it. I assume it has recovered enough to be hopping around with its cohort.

{{{{Jen}}}} As someone with several dedicated nurses in her extended family, I can't tell you how much I agree. Nursing is so important and so misunderstood.

I think people's general impression of what teachers do is similarly screwed up, but I think nurses get the worst rap of all.

Kristin SO speaks for me here. (fwiw, the fella I like most on OKCupid got way more brownie points from me for being a nurse than he would have for being a doctor.)

Do you think people are thinking negatively about you because you have crutches? What do you think is going through their minds? I am not trying to put you on the spot, just wondering. I think 95% of them are pretty much thinking what Meara said. And the other 5% are assholes who would think something negative no matter you looked/walked/dressed/were like.

Mom says sister says asshat is moving out tonight. I'm waiting for further information.

Mom says sister says asshat is moving out tonight.

Yay! Hope the door bangs him on the hat as he leaves!

After coming back from rotator cuff surgery this season, Pedro Martinez went 4⅓ innings today before going back on the DL.

Fuck!

Good news for Braves fans, though.

Susan, I'll just note that you have really disliked almost all of your dayjobs. You like a lot of autonomy and that's hard to come by with a middle level job. It's the sort of thing that tends to happen by accident on an org-chart rather than by design. You have strong issues with authority and those issues ping on you in a variety of ways. I think the satisfactory dayjob is going to be elusive for you.