I've got to write a book in a year, AT LEAST. Anything else just isn't a professional pace.

That's a good goal and all, but if you can't reach it because you are working full time and therefore not writing full time it does not mean you are failing to be professional about your writing. It took Virginia Woolf seven years to write To the LIghthouse. It took Jane Austen sixteen years to write Sense and Sensibility. A book a year might be a reasonable guideline, but it's not going to keep you from getting published (or eventually making a living at writing) if you don't meet it this year.

I hate that "What do you do?" is such a prime getting-to-know-you question in our culture. The only times I've felt like I had a good answer were when I was in school.

I answer Sound Designer to that question and 95% of the time I just get a blank stare. My career does not slot into the doctor, lawyer, used car salesman categories so folks just lock up. Kinda funny to watch, then kinda annoying to always have to explain.

I hate that "What do you do?" is such a prime getting-to-know-you question in our culture.

Word.

I remember offending the hell out of Amy Parker when I innocently asked this, because of course the answer is 'stay at home mom' - and I hadn't intended any judgment or anything at all, and certainly don't think SAHM is a bad choice (and if I had kids, I'd sure as hell want to have that as an option).

ION a sparrow just flew into my window hard enough to stun itself. It was lying on it's side on my porch looking like it might not be able to right itself, so i went out and picked it up (after putting on latex gloves) and just held it for a little while until it struggled to get away. I've put it out on the grass under the tree where the sparrows tend to hang out, poor thing.

I still don't know how to explain what ND does. Most of the time I just shrug and say, "Weird noises come out of his office."

Oh, -t, I hate when that happens. I feel so sorry for the little things. The nasty window sure pulled a dirty trick on it.

My career does not slot into the doctor, lawyer, used car salesman categories so folks just lock up

And even if you do have a career about which people have a clear-cut impression, ie. being a nurse, their impression is so unbelievably misguided and wrong that to explain the mistakes would take you days. No, I don't wear a little cap. No, I don't wear a little white dress. No, I don't simper and flirt with doctors. No, I don't follow them around with a clipboard writing down their every word and gazing adoringly at their broad, manly shoulders.

Nurses run rounds; the doctors are the ones who listen as we talk. We manage your labor; the doctors ask us what's going on and what should be done, not the other way around. We call the doctors to the room when we need them, and otherwise they stay out of our way and let us do our jobs.

We have an enormous amount of scientific knowledge and technical skills. We operate really complex machinery. We put things directly into your vein that could kill you if we're not careful. Conversely, we can literally save your life or your baby's life if we have to. And yet people STILL say, "Oh, how nice! You're a nurse! Have you met any handsome doctors?" when they hear what I do.

I love what I do with a passion I could never fully describe. But holy God, it's incredibly frustrating to have these conversations over and over again and realize how much further nursing has to go before people really understand what we do.

But the truth, for me, all that concern about what others think is just a smokescreen. The person who is judging me is myself.

Yeah, there's that. And I know that. I really do know all this stuff. It's just I've had to learn it over time, and it tends to be the first thing that falls by the wayside under pressure.

I mean, right now I'm debating whether to go to work tomorrow, because I'm finally feeling better--as long as I don't try to actually exert myself. I mean, I've seriously barely eaten since I started feeling sick on Saturday. Today I had a small chicken sandwich for lunch, and that's the closest thing to a real meal I've had in three days. But I feel bad about missing three days of work, and how backed up things will be, and both going and staying home seem far more stress-making than they really should. Which is probably connected to the whole being sick/weakened thing. So checking my email and finding a payroll problem sent me into this whole spiral of "OMG how I hate my job and how I dread having to go back!" This with a side of self-blame ("You know, I never DID get the notice about that change that was supposed to happen--why didn't I think to follow up?") and contradictory annoyance at my coworker ("If your pay has been wrong since February, why the hell did you wait till the end of March and a financial crisis to TELL me?!").

And the whole place just hasn't been happy since the new director arrived, so I'm wondering if/when I decide to bail and look elsewhere. Because I'd finally found a place with a loose structure and laissez-faire chain of command--only to have someone come in within months trying to impose order and hierarchy on this lovely more-or-less functional chaos. Until she came along I was an authority--now I'm just under authority. And I really miss the autonomy I had when I started the job.

We get free career counseling at work--it's mostly designed for things like helping entry-level healthcare workers move into better positions through financial aid and job placement and the like, but I met with the counselor a week or two ago, and I think he views me as an interesting challenge. I think I'm going to take the time to do all the homework he wants to give me, with the goal of figuring out if there's a better compromise than the one I have now WRT meeting my financial needs while giving me time to write but still allowing me to be reasonably happy in my work.

It's just that right now I'm so. damned. tired. I'd love to take a day just to rest, and I'm tempted to do that tomorrow even if I'm mostly better, just to regroup before I go back in there.

{{{{Jen}}}} As someone with several dedicated nurses in her extended family, I can't tell you how much I agree. Nursing is so important and so misunderstood.

I think people's general impression of what teachers do is similarly screwed up, but I think nurses get the worst rap of all.

The nasty window sure pulled a dirty trick on it.

I know! I hear thumps at this window all the time - I don't know if they're trying to nest in the eaves or are hunting bugs or if the reflection is really deceptive or what, but it is apparently a hazard. They usually just shake it off and fly away, though. This one is still sitting where I left it, but at least it's upright.