So, let me ask -- married folk/people living in sin: does it feel roommate-y sometimes? Or is there a roommate-like aspect? Is this normal?

Hahaha. Yes. Normal.

We are TOTALLY roomies who occasionally like to hang out, and also like to occasionally do other stuff, too.

Suzi! Happy almost K's birthday! When should I be over for that yummy cake?

::waits patiently::

and different bedtimes - not unusual. Not always desirable, but there are all kinds of ways to work around the night owl/ early bird syndrome.

One of the big fights that The Boy had with his previous live-in GF (they lived together for 3-4 years) was that she would go to bed and then he'd stay up for hours, and that pissed her off. It wasn't *the* straw that broke the back of their relationship, but it was indicative of the things that led to their demise.

And it really did worry him that I'd be pissed that he didn't come to bed when I do. So I made sure to tell him -- early and often -- that I emphatically DO NOT MIND going to bed before him, as long as he crawls in next to me at some point before sunrise. He can't change his rhythms any more than I can. As long as he doesn't get mad that I can't stay up until 2 a.m. with him every night (or, okay, EVER), I don't give one damn if I go to bed alone. Because I never end up alone.

Now, if I suggest going to bed for non-sleep reasons and he doesn't join me, THEN there would be trouble. (But that hasn't happened yet.) But if I'm going to bed in order to become unconscious, I wouldn't even know if he's there or not, so if his night-owl ways keep him awake and tinkering, I totally don't mind.

So that works for us, definitely.

Am working on the frosting...forgot to set the butter out for it to soften.

Cake should be tomorrow at 8pm, give or take a bit. I'll save a plate for you.

I dn't remember the last time Joe and I went to bed at the same time.

You don't have to go to bed at the exact same time I do but if you're unemployed and I have to be up at seven you better come to bed before 11 if you want to have a sexual relationship. And yes this was a factor in my divorce.

Cake should be tomorrow at 8pm, give or take a bit.

I could be there at 8:00...

and it seems to me that a live-in relationship ranges from hi, oh yeah we share a bed to hooray the person I love most in the world is here, I must crush them with my love to please vanish for three hours so I can be all by myself and yes, take the cat with you.

This.

I really think a relationship couldn't hold up under the pressure of trying to keep the intensity above roommate-level 100% of the time. I mean, yes, you've got to have the passion and the connection, but having them all the time would be kinda exhausting.

We're going to fill out the application and bring it to the real estate guy tomorrow. Hopefully we'll get approved. The only thing I'm still a little uneasy about is why such a nice place is relatively inexpensive. t /cynic

why such a nice place is relatively inexpensive.

have you been there at a few different times of day on a few different days of the week?