Is this normal?

Yup. DH and I have lived together for almost 10 years, now, and we are still learning how to mesh our different schedules into time together and time apart and time getting shit that needs doing done. You reading while he tinkers is Quality Relationship Time in which you practice allowing each other to pursue your own interests while still being around each other. That's pretty advanced, I'd say.

so is it just me or do all cat owners sing, "Psycho Kitty"?

So, let me ask -- married folk/people living in sin: does it feel roommate-y sometimes? Or is there a roommate-like aspect? Is this normal?

OMG, YES. But even after nineteen years, we still have our, uh, definitely non-roommatey moments.

OMG, YES. But even after nineteen years, we still have our, uh, definitely non-roommatey moments.

And THAT, my darlings, is the key.

and different bedtimes - not unusual. Not always desirable, but there are all kinds of ways to work around the night owl/ early bird syndrome.

and it seems to me that a live-in relationship ranges from hi, oh yeah we share a bed to hooray the person I love most in the world is here, I must crush them with my love to please vanish for three hours so I can be all by myself and yes, take the cat with you.

so is it just me or do all cat owners sing, "Psycho Kitty"?

yes - all of us do that , however my favorite is

Praise Percy from whom all fur flies

praise him , oh hear him meow

or

Percy loves me this I know

Because his meowing tell me so ....

Thanks Vortex! That's hugely helpful. And thanks Java for the encouragement.

Who'da ever thunk I would end up in the middle of an intellectual property dispute. Clue: not me.

So, let me ask -- married folk/people living in sin: does it feel roommate-y sometimes? Or is there a roommate-like aspect? Is this normal?

Hahaha. Yes. Normal.

We are TOTALLY roomies who occasionally like to hang out, and also like to occasionally do other stuff, too.

Suzi! Happy almost K's birthday! When should I be over for that yummy cake?

::waits patiently::

and different bedtimes - not unusual. Not always desirable, but there are all kinds of ways to work around the night owl/ early bird syndrome.

One of the big fights that The Boy had with his previous live-in GF (they lived together for 3-4 years) was that she would go to bed and then he'd stay up for hours, and that pissed her off. It wasn't *the* straw that broke the back of their relationship, but it was indicative of the things that led to their demise.

And it really did worry him that I'd be pissed that he didn't come to bed when I do. So I made sure to tell him -- early and often -- that I emphatically DO NOT MIND going to bed before him, as long as he crawls in next to me at some point before sunrise. He can't change his rhythms any more than I can. As long as he doesn't get mad that I can't stay up until 2 a.m. with him every night (or, okay, EVER), I don't give one damn if I go to bed alone. Because I never end up alone.

Now, if I suggest going to bed for non-sleep reasons and he doesn't join me, THEN there would be trouble. (But that hasn't happened yet.) But if I'm going to bed in order to become unconscious, I wouldn't even know if he's there or not, so if his night-owl ways keep him awake and tinkering, I totally don't mind.

So that works for us, definitely.