No, no, no, sir. No more chick pit for you. Come on.

Riley ,'Lessons'


Spike's Bitches 40: Buckle Up, Kids! Daddy's Puttin' the Hammer Down.  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


beth b - Mar 24, 2008 10:20:34 am PDT #1199 of 10001
oh joy! Oh Rapture ! I have a brain!

My 3 year nephew did not want to wash his hands. Dad took him into the bathroom and washed his hands. H Screamed for about 15 minutes after. I thought it was really funny. Dad was pretty cool. I honestly hope that the worst thing that ever happens to my nephew is that his dad makes him wash his hands.


Jessica - Mar 24, 2008 10:23:09 am PDT #1200 of 10001
If I want to become a cloud of bats, does each bat need a separate vaccination?

If they have a kid of their own, they probably think that any other child that doesn't behave EXACTLY LIKE THEIR PERFECT ANGEL has "emotional problems."

See also: Parents who think they get to take credit for their babies' good sleep habits. If your 9-month-old sleeps through the night, I envy you. I really, really do. But the fact that mine doesn't is really not evidence of parental incompetence on my part. Some babies just don't sleep.

Ahem. Issues.

In conclusion, I miss sleep.


Aims - Mar 24, 2008 10:23:38 am PDT #1201 of 10001
Shit's all sorts of different now.

As a parent, I was totally torturing Em yesterday. She was pretending that Joe and I were sick and was bringing us stuff.

Em: "Here's your juice, baby."
Me: "I DON'T LIKE THAT JUICE! I WANT WATER!"
Em: Ok - here's your water.
Me: "I DON'T LIKE WATER I SAID I PROMISE!"

She just looked at me askance and kissed me on my forehead and said, "You need your nap, baby."

Joe fell out of his chair laughing.


hippocampus - Mar 24, 2008 10:24:17 am PDT #1202 of 10001
not your mom's socks.

He says, "I don't know My Kid is a pretty easy going awesome kid."

Aimee, I'm busy laughing my ass off at this guy. boy, does the universe have some weird and wonderful surprises in store for him.

also? what Steph and Connie said.

Go Vegas! Viva...


Aims - Mar 24, 2008 10:24:24 am PDT #1203 of 10001
Shit's all sorts of different now.

But the fact that mine doesn't is really not evidence of parental incompetence on my part.

Yes it is. You get a FAIL.

(Totally tongue in cheek.)


-t - Mar 24, 2008 10:24:26 am PDT #1204 of 10001
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration

That is the best story ever.


Sparky1 - Mar 24, 2008 10:26:26 am PDT #1205 of 10001
Librarian Warlord

My favorite tantrum that all my nieces and nephews eventually threw was the: "I'M NOT TIRED" coupled with "AND IF YOU WOULD STOP BEING MEAN TO ME I COULD STOP CRYING"

I just loved that they figured out how to apply that logic and boomerang it back on my sisters.


Jessica - Mar 24, 2008 10:26:54 am PDT #1206 of 10001
If I want to become a cloud of bats, does each bat need a separate vaccination?

She just looked at me askance and kissed me on my forehead and said, "You need your nap, baby."

BWAHAHAHAHA!

Also, thpppppppppppppppppt.

I do get a fail, though. For whatever reason, D has flat-out refused to be put to sleep by me at any hour of the night. DH can rock him to sleep in 10 minutes, but if I try, he just lies in my lap wide awake and STARES. Or babbles. Or plays with my sleeve. Or tries to sit up and play. Anything but sleep. At some point in the past 7 days, I have completely lost the ability to be comforting.

And I know it's just a phase, but it's fucking depressing all the same. (Sorry to thread-hijack. Please to be continuing with the adorable toddler stories.)


Aims - Mar 24, 2008 10:28:00 am PDT #1207 of 10001
Shit's all sorts of different now.

if I try, he just lies in my lap wide awake and STARES.

It's cause you're so pretty.

Em's newest thing is when one of us tells her "No", she runs to the other one screaming behind her, "I'M GONNA TALL MY DAD/MOM ON YOU FOR TELLING NO!"


Nora Deirdre - Mar 24, 2008 10:28:20 am PDT #1208 of 10001
I’m responsible for my own happiness? I can’t even be responsible for my own breakfast! (Bojack Horseman)

Em: "Here's your juice, baby."

HAR. Erin's into being the mommy and we're all her babies. She generally indicates this game is about to commence by chasing us around with a diaper. (a clean, unused diaper)