Spike's Bitches 40: Buckle Up, Kids! Daddy's Puttin' the Hammer Down.
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
My 3 year old niece is going through that crazy fit throwing stage too. After a while, it's kind of funny (speaking not as a parent). It's just... kid logic is really, really weird and hilarious. Tom and I would do our Erin impressions:
Nora: What do you think we should do for dinner? Chinese?
Tom: (screaming) I DON'T WANT CHINESE FOOD AAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Nora: Pizza?
Tom: I DON'T LIKE PIZZA AND YOU ARE MEAN!
Nora:
t dies laughing
Needless to say, my sister does not find this quite as amusing, so we just work that action in the privacy of our own home. But Erin would do that for Every. Single. Statement. or question put to her.
My parents call her a drama queen, which sort of annoys me because again, it seems to speak to her personality instead of this phase she's in. Too soon to attribute to personality!
My 3 year nephew did not want to wash his hands. Dad took him into the bathroom and washed his hands. H Screamed for about 15 minutes after. I thought it was really funny. Dad was pretty cool. I honestly hope that the worst thing that ever happens to my nephew is that his dad makes him wash his hands.
If they have a kid of their own, they probably think that any other child that doesn't behave EXACTLY LIKE THEIR PERFECT ANGEL has "emotional problems."
See also: Parents who think they get to take credit for their babies' good sleep habits. If your 9-month-old sleeps through the night, I envy you. I really, really do. But the fact that mine doesn't is really not evidence of parental incompetence on my part. Some babies just don't sleep.
Ahem. Issues.
In conclusion, I miss sleep.
As a parent, I was totally torturing Em yesterday. She was pretending that Joe and I were sick and was bringing us stuff.
Em: "Here's your juice, baby."
Me: "I DON'T LIKE THAT JUICE! I WANT WATER!"
Em: Ok - here's your water.
Me: "I DON'T LIKE WATER I SAID I PROMISE!"
She just looked at me askance and kissed me on my forehead and said, "You need your nap, baby."
Joe fell out of his chair laughing.
He says, "I don't know My Kid is a pretty easy going awesome kid."
Aimee, I'm busy laughing my ass off at this guy. boy, does the universe have some weird and wonderful surprises in store for him.
also? what Steph and Connie said.
Go Vegas! Viva...
But the fact that mine doesn't is really not evidence of parental incompetence on my part.
Yes it is. You get a FAIL.
(Totally tongue in cheek.)
That is the best story ever.
My favorite tantrum that all my nieces and nephews eventually threw was the: "I'M NOT TIRED" coupled with "AND IF YOU WOULD STOP BEING MEAN TO ME I COULD STOP CRYING"
I just loved that they figured out how to apply that logic and boomerang it back on my sisters.
She just looked at me askance and kissed me on my forehead and said, "You need your nap, baby."
BWAHAHAHAHA!
Also, thpppppppppppppppppt.
I do get a fail, though. For whatever reason, D has flat-out refused to be put to sleep by me at any hour of the night. DH can rock him to sleep in 10 minutes, but if I try, he just lies in my lap wide awake and STARES. Or babbles. Or plays with my sleeve. Or tries to sit up and play. Anything but sleep. At some point in the past 7 days, I have completely lost the ability to be comforting.
And I know it's just a phase, but it's fucking depressing all the same. (Sorry to thread-hijack. Please to be continuing with the adorable toddler stories.)
if I try, he just lies in my lap wide awake and STARES.
It's cause you're so pretty.
Em's newest thing is when one of us tells her "No", she runs to the other one screaming behind her, "I'M GONNA TALL MY DAD/MOM ON YOU FOR TELLING NO!"