Yeah. Sober. I know.

Huh.

I don't want to do any more work today. I won't either, if I can get people to cooperate.

Happy Birthday Tom!

The most annoyed I get at tourists is school groups where the teacher will tell the kids to gather at the bottom of the escalator or to get on the train and stay right by the door. (I've seen both of these happen, multiple times, with groups of more than ten kids.) And then they complain that people in the city are so rude because they get pushed. No, you're being rude by purposely having a large group of people block the way of several hundred commutors.

In high school, my route back to the Metro from crew practice used to take me right past the tourist trolley, ALL of whom would have their cameras out and rolling. Who cares about the Kennedy Center on your left, there's a sweaty native girl down there!!

Tom! Happy happy birthday!

Oh! I've noticed people on those double-decker tour buses in NY taking pictures of me. Huh? I'm really not that interesting.

Who cares about the Kennedy Center on your left, there's a sweaty native girl down there!!

I always wonder how all the random tourists that have taken photos of or with me explain them to their friends and family later. "And here's that really strange Victorian Goth girl we saw in Seattle! We just HAD to get our photo taken with her!"

People, please remind me that I cannot change someone's mind who thinks that they know what it's like to be on the razor's edge of poverty because they have a large tax bill and therefore all poor people have to do is budget and sacrifice in order not to have to choose between groceries, bills and rent or their car insurance.

Do we really think that the majority of people who don't have liability don't have it because they are flauting the law?

You cannot change that person's mind, DJ. A good stint of living outta their car might do the trick, but even then, people can be weirdly stubborn.

There is a woman STOPPED in the crosswalk blocking all traffic so she can take a picture of the Capitol.

t cue Chewbacca, head back noise of agony

The people standing in the middle of Independence Avenue...basically a HIGHway for crap sake, taking pictures of the cherry trees.

I know I rant about this every year but really? trees? Okay, pretty trees, I agree, but worth your life or the lives of innocent motorists? Not really!! No, seriously, not really worth it!!

And, by the way, could I please have your name and address to I can narc your tree branch pulling down ass to the park police so that they can send you that huge ticket? Cuz, you know what? Those gorgeous flowers that so overwhelmed you with their beauty that you absolutely could NOT allow them to stay in their natural habitat...the ones that would have lived on that tree for the rest of these kabillion people to enjoy? They'll be dead in half an hour you selfish berk.

Ahem. Sorry. It's a thing.

OMG OMG OMG.

I am making the world's yummiest carnitas right now. The shredded pork just went into the oven to crisp. I had a bite to test it out and OMGWTFYUM. If DH doesn't get home soon I may eat the entire batch by myself.