I think it's easier just not to eat when I'm in NYC. After all, Boston is just a couple hours away by train, and I always have such lovely chats with the baristas and short-order cooks when I get there.

I think this is universal, because it happens on a daily basis in my office building. I've even told people, as I'm trying to exit but being delayed because they're already shoving their way on, "You know, it's a lot easier for you to get on the elevator if you just LET ME GET OFF FIRST."

Those people don't bother me as much as the ones who are stopped right in front of the elevator or escalator just to have a conversation. At least I can understand the impulse behind the other.

Counter ordering is definitely an advanced application of the two rules.

I avoid counter places for that reason. There's always far too many rules. So I haven't been to Zabar's or Katz's. I get het up as it is at my lunch deli with the unguessable line location. (next to the crackers! THE CRACKERS!)

I already knew ita's black people greeting rules! I feel so well-read now.

I can't characterize Kansas City. People will generally be helpful if asked and driving doesn't seem very cutthroat.

IME there the driving was very pleasant, but passerby would say hi or smile at you, which was disconcerting.

Doesn't this make sense as a general rule, no matter where you are? I mean, really.

My theory is that they weren't raised with public transportation, and therefore never learned this as a rule. They just need a week where they constantly get bodychecked and barked at by angry commuters, and it will become pavlovian.

Also? STAND RIGHT WALK LEFT. It's not fucking rocket science, and I resent you making me have to resist the urge to send you tumbling down the escalator like you're asking for.

ARRRRRGHYES. And that's not a touristy thing. It can't be, there are too many of them. People, the reason the escalator is clear on the right in front of you is because all the people that were on the right were walking. Why do you feel like YOU get to stand still? No one could possibly want to get past you? I particularly hate it because it requires talking to them, which I also hate.

You know what else I hate, although it's probably not in the same set of rules? Conversations in the stalls. I know that's not such a universal thing. It's more of a personal peeve. Here, there are a couple of kids standing directly in front of the faculty bathroom having a conversation every damn day during my break.

Counter ordering is definitely an advanced application of the two rules. Always have your order ready when it's your turn, speak your order clearly, don't have a conversation with the server, and don't dawdle after you've gotten your order and paid. And if an orderly line has not been formed, then keep track of your own position yourself.

Or, um, just wait until there are no other people around.

Those people don't bother me as much as the ones who are stopped right in front of the elevator or escalator just to have a conversation.

Dude, yes. And their cousins, the group of five who stop halfway up the stairs, and not even at a landing, to have a long and heartfelt chat.

Counter ordering is definitely an advanced application of the two rules.

I am so ingrained with the counter ordering procedure that it throws me off and irritates me if the order-taker engages in chit-chat.

"I'd like the #3 with cheese and a medium drink."

"Oh, those are good."

(Horrified stare)

"...so that comes to $6.42..."

"Thank you."