Oh, megan, the window seat dogs in the manger make me nuts. One nice thing about having a toddler on the bus is that, on the rare occasions that somebody else doesn't jump up and offer us their seat, virtually the entire bus will turn around and give the dog in the manger the stinkeye until s/he moves all bags, backpacks, wayward limbs and other impediments and lets us sit. It's apparently a pretty toxic stinkeye, because the dog under its spell doesn't even dare to utter that homicidally irritating huffy little sigh that always happens when I force my way past them sans Matilda.

But the mindless cell-phone chatting at volume, and standing directly in front of the Metro car door opening as if you don't even see that there are forty people trying to get off and the law of physics demands that you make way (even if basic survival is not motivation enough).

Also? STAND RIGHT WALK LEFT. It's not fucking rocket science, and I resent you making me have to resist the urge to send you tumbling down the escalator like you're asking for.

((JZ))

Counter ordering is definitely an advanced application of the two rules. Always have your order ready when it's your turn, speak your order clearly, don't have a conversation with the server, and don't dawdle after you've gotten your order and paid. And if an orderly line has not been formed, then keep track of your own position yourself.

Think Soup Nazi.

Let people that are inside get out, THEN enter the elevator.

WORD

I think this is universal, because it happens on a daily basis in my office building. I've even told people, as I'm trying to exit but being delayed because they're already shoving their way on, "You know, it's a lot easier for you to get on the elevator if you just LET ME GET OFF FIRST."

All I get in return is a blank stare. Possibly drool.

Sue, I can tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. Or perhaps I'd get drop-squadded and killed myself.

There's an assumption of acquaintance, by means of shared minority. So all the black guys on my floor at work had at least said "hello" to me in my first week, and there are many white guys here who'll never say a thing. I know where they are, they know where I am.

Two friends of mine would travel for work, one white one black. The white guy was surprised at how many people the black guy seemed to know so far from home. Nah, he didn't know them. They were black, they greeted each other. It's a thing.

I was trying to put my finger on something about Anansi Boys that had been evading me--people were saying that the way they realised the race in the book was that the narrator only mentioned the race of white people, ergo the narrator was black. But in my experience, black people damned well notice other black people's race, and are fairly likely to use it in a description or retelling.

I can't characterize Kansas City. People will generally be helpful if asked and driving doesn't seem very cutthroat.

I think it's easier just not to eat when I'm in NYC. After all, Boston is just a couple hours away by train, and I always have such lovely chats with the baristas and short-order cooks when I get there.

I think this is universal, because it happens on a daily basis in my office building. I've even told people, as I'm trying to exit but being delayed because they're already shoving their way on, "You know, it's a lot easier for you to get on the elevator if you just LET ME GET OFF FIRST."

Those people don't bother me as much as the ones who are stopped right in front of the elevator or escalator just to have a conversation. At least I can understand the impulse behind the other.

Counter ordering is definitely an advanced application of the two rules.

I avoid counter places for that reason. There's always far too many rules. So I haven't been to Zabar's or Katz's. I get het up as it is at my lunch deli with the unguessable line location. (next to the crackers! THE CRACKERS!)