when put through my GoogleBullshitDescrambler (TM)
And that happens more often than you might think. My dad got fired from a job because the bossman's daughter quit her job and wanted to come back to their company, and they needed the room in the budget. So.
Don't hate on yourself, JZ. You *did* do a great thing for your family, finding a good new position. It's *so* not your fault that the people there are ridiculous and unfeeling morons.
Yeah, JZ. This is not how they measure adulthood. This really isn't it. Right now take advantages of the kindnesses of the javachiks and the Perkins and the julianas and all the other -istas. Time enough for a new game plan later.
Speaking as an HR person, it is the company's job to to make the new hire comfortable and to make their expectations clear. THEY failed, not you.
My old job for the beloved old boss is up again on the open listings page at UC--the guy who replaced me let himself be poached by another division. I could call them now and start tomorrow morning if I wanted. I just don't know if that's a good thing or a step backward (Hec will certainly say that it's about ten steps backward). It's very safe; it's just not very interesting, except for the boss.
There are a few other jobs posted that I think I might be qualified for, but now I'm stabbinated with self-doubt and saying, "No, no, not that one, I can't handle complex tasks, I'm not capable of taking initiative, they'll want to know why I'm back after such a short time away and I'll have to tell them that I failed in the outside world."
JZ, could "distant" be a euphemism for "not flirty enough" used by some boss that's a refugee from the slap-and-tickle way businesses were run in the 1950s? While I can see you coming off as quiet and shy based on the sleep and comfort issues you mentioned, "distant" has overtones of steely disregard that I cannot imagine anyone thinking after even a couple minutes in your presence.
Honey, give it a day to let everything process and to let your confidence come back up. You were just dealt a low and cruel hand by jackholes. Have some baby snuggles, some juliana snuggles, some more tears and then some Hec snuggles and then - go to bed early and wake up tomorrow feeling 110% better than you do right now. There are no decisions that need to made this instant. Let your heart heal a bit, honey.
But you DIDN'T FAIL. For real.
If the old job is a comfortable fit, there's nothing wrong with pursuing it, and no reason to decide right now that it's the one job you'll have, forever after. You need income and benefits, and you can do the job, and you've had a lot of change in a short period.
Which is not to say you *should* take it, just that you shouldn't beat yourself up at all if you want to.
::hugs JZ hard::