This weekend I did 7 loads of laundry, cleaned two bags of trash out of my closet, got a new IKEA bookshelf (assembled and in order), paid all my bills, and made a roasted chicken dinner...in between hiding under my covers and watching terrible horror movies.

I would like a cookie, now.

Allyson, you are definitely entitled to a cooke*. I was proud of myself for making it to the grocery store and briefly considering vacuum cleaners. You rock!

(* Perhaps Alistair. Or a cookie. Your choice.)

Today I have done two loads of laundry and cooked a chicken breast that was supposed to be last night's dinner (nope) or today's lunch (nope), and that's more than I got done yesterday, so. Oh, yesterday I went grocery shopping, so I guess that counts for something. But still. I would like to offer Allyson a cookie.

I *FINALLY* saw "Blazing Saddles" this weekend. And had a really great fish fry. Mmmmm.

Most people die in bed. Guess what the second-most-common place to die is.... it's sitting on the toilet.

Most people will die in bed, but of the group that don't, the majority will die sitting on the lavatory. This is because there are some terminal events, such as an enormous heart attack or clot on the lung, where the bodily sensation is as if you want to defecate.

I did not know that.

What really happens when you die?

The second part of the article has a somewhat graphic description of autopsy... then on to the embalming, etc....

(* Perhaps Alistair. Or a cookie. Your choice.)

Or an Alistair Cookie! [link]

it's sitting on the toilet.

I am so glad I won't be alive to be embarrassed when I die.

Allyson, you deserve many cookies. This weekend I slept, watched things on my ipod, slept, and slept some more. I also made a rice neckwarmer thing that you put in the microwave by filling a sock with rice.

Also, my neck hurts so badly that I keep thinking I have meningitis, but I do not. The nurses here say that if I can bend my head to my chest without pain, it is not meningitis. So yay!

Weirdly, just last week, I was wondering how come Lindsay Lohan doesn't seem to be as freckly all-over as she used to. After seeing the nudie pix from New York Magazine on Gawker just now, I am relieved to see she is as freckly as ever.

After seeing the nudie pix from New York Magazine on Gawker just now, I am relieved to see she is as freckly as ever.

The shoot made me wonder what happened to waists. I feel like girls used to have waists. And shorter torsos. Did they disappear because they made hips look big? It may also be because I expect everyone to look like me, and when I was young and slender I had a waist. I was blaming it mostly on the low pants-high shirts thing, but it seems to happen with nude things too.

Did they disappear because they made hips look big?

I bet that's it. My former-model coworker said something one time in a conversation about fitting pants about her "big hips," until I forced her to admit that her hips are small, it's just that her waist is smaller.