Sox, what's going on? Is it the Watcher or the Kid?

What, are you reading the latest WYPR news?

I hesitate to ask...what else has happened??? (Businesses I know are pulling their sponsorship over the Steiner thing.)

Sox, I would flip out in your position. At the nanny and, especially, at her agency. And never invite her back.

Hah. Actually, I'd defer to parents.

That babysitter was insane to do that. I do think it is all to easy for a caregiver to shut down if a parent is around, especially if they are not used to those circumstances. Not right, mind you, but pretty common. Especially if they are relatively inexperienced.

I do think working at home when the kid is home is..well, my dad used to take me into his office when I was sick. Someone (not always my dad! ) always didn't get as much work done, and that was me sick & subdued. If you are used to it great! If not, it could go ferwonky.

Watcher

change verb to cellphonetalker/internetsurfer. I'm working and chasing a three year old who doesn't seem so deathly ill and who will absolutely be going to school tomorrow as long as I'm not in jail.

Sox,

As someone who worked as a nanny, that is unacceptable. I worked for a number of type-A NYC lawyers and I'm sure you are far from being unreasonable.

And, even so, your caregiver is there to care for your child, not do personal business. Did I like the mother who didn't believe in baby wipes and made me use cotton balls and distilled water when I changed diapers? No. But I was there to care for her child, not mine.

However, I didn't refrain from doing work for myself, reading, or being on the phone if the baby was sleeping. And I always was happy when mothers explicitly said that was okay, because they would do that themselves, you know?

When mothers were there at the same time, I made sure that they were not disturbed if at all possible.

the mother who didn't believe in baby wipes and made me use cotton balls and distilled water when I changed diapers?

OMG that's hilarious.

"As you can see from this description, this argument is extraordinarily [tenuous, I guess]."

convoluted?

OMG that's hilarious.

When you're the one doing the changing. Not so much.

Eventually she let me go because, and I quote:
"I consider you my peer and there are certain things I can't ask you to do because of that."

She made her cleaning lady scrub the grout between the tiles on the kitchen floor with a toothbrush.

Yeah. I saw that. If she's from an agency, I'd call to complain.

It's almost entirely probable that the cell/surf thing is a result of you being present. When I nannied, I'd often defer to the parent when they were around, because they were around.

Another friend who still nannies always tries to arrange her work so that she is not working when the parents are home because there are a ton of mixed messages.

Has she responded by stepping up when you pointed out that she is there to watch the kid so you can finish work, that you expect her to do that?

Ugh. What a nightmare. I'm sorry.

When you're the one doing the changing. Not so much.

Well, sure, but these are the kinds of things we have to suffer through so that they can become funny later.