Okay. My BFF Daniel moved to Durham 6 months ago. Because he'd lived in the DC area for the better part of a decade and he had no social life, he couldn't afford to buy a home, and generally it wasn't working for him. He has been living with his brother while looking for a job in NC. He really likes the area (he grew up there), but he has been in limbo without a job and so he has not made social connections there, either. He has not found a job, and is getting pretty depressed as a result. I talked to him last weekend, and he was feeling better because he is starting to reconcile himself to coming back to the DC area (our company would very likely hire him back).

I am a very lazy person and have never done a concentrated job hunt. So I do not know what I'm talking about, particularly in the current economy. But this is what I think he should do:

• Go door to door. Not literally, but go out scouting companies in commuting range. Stop in with a resume, and ask if they're hiring. I think all of his jobsearching has been online; I'm not sure if he's even been checking the paper.
• Write up a nice, personable cover letter. I hate that shit, but I understand it's kind of necessary, and I'm pretty sure he just sends out his resume without any further info.
• Ignore headhunters; they're a waste of time.
• Widen his range. I suspect he's only looking for jobs similar to what he's done before, and he's probably asking for too much money. If his goal is to live in Durham (and it is) he needs to be more flexible about the other stuff.
• Also, widen his range in location -- he knows DC didn't work, and if he can't find something in the Durham area, he should at least look at other NC cities before giving up and going back to a place that he wasn't happy in to begin with.

He has a ton of savings, so it's not a "He'll starve without a job in the next month" issue. His original plan was that once he got employed, he'd buy a house down there. And I'd be depressed in his situation too, but... I also think he's not giving everything he could to the job-hunt. When I talked to him last weekend he said he figured that if nothing turned up soon, he was going to "give up his dream" and come back to DC. And I'm just thinking, dude, if that's your dream, you need to give it everything you have before you quit.

I wouldn't use those words to him, but I want to know if I'm being sensible or an insensitive ass. He's been a great reality-check friend, and I totally understand the depression issues, god knows, but I feel like, if roles were reversed, he'd be asking, "And what did you do to find a job, any job, today ?"

I don't know what my question is. Am I being a jerk is definitely one. Do y'all have other tips for job-hunting is another. I really want him to be happy, and I can't tell if I should be good cop or bad cop, basically.

Strega, what's his field? My impression is that job-hunting varies a lot by what field he's in. Head-hunters are key in some fields, for example. The one thing you don't mention is networking - if he's been here 6 months and his brother lives here, has he met anybody yet? If he's shy, that's hard, but a ridiculous number of jobs come through contacts.

I think if he's truly your BFF you should be able to judge how he'll take the bad cop routine. If you choose to go that route, couch it with love: "I hate to see you give up on your dream. Here are some things you should do before you give up." (Also is he/has he been *treated* for depression? I know a GREAT counselor.)

We have a bunch of Buffistas in the Triangle, if he needs contacts. We mostly work at local Universities, but have some experience with the job market locally.

Aimee, were you looking for 'Mississippi Delta' maybe?

Strega, I take it you're not in his local vicinity, so a nice talk over coffee is out of the question. But if you took what you wrote here and recast it as a letter to him, it might help him put it in perspective.

In ME news, I have the morning off, as the instructor came down with severe car troubles last night. But of course, I'm already up, with little prospect of being able to fall back asleep. Ah well, it's nice to be able to bum around for a couple hours midweek....

am working in shifts with DH today - day 2 of wtfvirus-the Return. This is the one that doesn't really bug her during the day, but at night changes her into a feverish, sad, gross imitation of herself.

d & javachik - I'ma keep you posted... this may turn into a night on the town (a night on the town where I fall asleep on teh table) - all depends on what happens tonight.

have voted, brought in King Cake to the office, and now boss has left to go to the Giants parade - I sense a good-ish day.

The big ticker-tape parade goes right past my office this morning.

So far today I've hunted through my whole house for a file, installed excel on my home computer, had breakfast, and had a major coniption when my smoke alarm went off when I was trying to make coffee. (I was using a stovetop espresso maker and couldn't really leave it to go yank the smoke alarm off the wall.)

Oh and a little birdie, also known as Facebook, tells me it's Victor's birthday today. Happy Birthday Victor!

I avoided crossing the parade route on my way to work (like I normally would), but did see many Giants fans on the train.

I think I'm going to give up bread for Lent. Also chips, etc.

I am thinking about giving up chocolate, maybe even all sweets. And trying to tidy up after myself everyday.