That's hard, Laura. My advice, though, is to go: I think that you'll regret missing the opportunity more than any possible negatives you'll experience being there. And if it is less than ideal, at least you'll know that it doesn't work for you to be in that zone anymore, so the quandary won't reappear in the future.

Laura, you are the sexy cool super wonderfulness at any weight. Don't let that stop you from seeing people you love.

::hopes he doesn't have to wait until Laura likes her weight before he sees her again::

I'm with Gris. I have been feeling like Fatty Bumbatty lately and it has made me less inclined to see folks I haven't seen in a while. If it's any comfort, the judgmental voices shut up once I actually see the folks and the essential human connection takes over. Your wonderful, radiant, smart, funny Laura-ness is what folks will see and remember.

Aww, thanks guys. I'm not usually this insecure, but in a bit of a funk because none of my holiday type clothes fit me anymore. It is a casual bathing suits and shorts type thing, so not like I have to wear a little black dress or something. I just don't know if I am up to it. It has been 20 years since Stephen died and most of these people I have only seen at weddings and funerals since that time. Ugh, I keep typing and backspacing because I hate how I sound. They are a great bunch of fun loving super people and for some reason I am forgetting this part and only remembering that they are all thin and rich when compared to me. Ugh again. What I need is to spend less time with my brain.

Or more time with us!

Hee. Right you are. Ok, I'm going to suck it up, or in as the case may be and attend. I Will Not be wearing a bathing suit. I did have to share his email, because funny..

In case you've forgot we're serving dinner about 4pm at my house, (Mike time might mean closer to 5pm), tomorrow, Sunday, 12/30, with the idea of people showing up about 2pm and going home about 7pm. We are trying to get an approximate head count, so if you've not already replied, or can't remember, or merely enjoy responding to emails - let me know if you or others are coming, .... or not. I know the Dolphins are playing (or losing) at 1pm and realize that for some masochists this could be a problem, but the the TV will be tuned to the game and if you drive fast you'll only miss a few Bengal scores, or you could come early. We hope to see you tomorrow, and bringing kids is a good idea, dress is casual, bathing suits are optional, but don't tell Tuthill, because I told him formal.

Laura--the fact that you have those negative feelings and you are aware of it and you are honest about it even if it costs you and you are able to enjoy a funny email and share it is all good. I just love the whole Laura package.

Thank you for the help. I'll let you know how it goes. (unless I chicken out) Eeeep.

Now I am off to watch the demon barber, in a dark theater!

What Scrappy said, natch.

I hearby announce that girls have a distinct ability to PISS ME OFF.

Aw, Gris, you wee scone. But you're made of awesome, love, and you're blatantly going to be all Girlfriended up some time soon - I'm just sorry that the dating scene is being crappy at the minute. Meanwhile, though, I think the musical theatre thing sounds FANBLOODYTASTIC, and am awash with envy.

Laura - what they said. You rock, and are foamy like a foamy thing, and anyone who is cool and worth bothering about will be all 'Yay Laura!!!'. And anyone who's going to get their Size Zero knickers in a twist and be uncharitable about anyone else's appearance is a knob, about whose good opinion it's really not worth fretting. Bollocks to them.

(Besides - the odds that everyone there will be able to boast pert little peachlike bottoms and trim waists untouched by the passage of time? Dude. You live in America. Ass happens.)