Phone: *ahem*
Me: "Goddamn you, Alexander Graham Bell! GODDAMN YOU!! BBBEEEEELLLLLLL!!!!"
Fuckcake O' the Day II: "I'm trying to reach (Person) but I don't understand your phone menu. Extension 118, please."
Me: "I'll see if (Person) is available."
Phone: *She's, uh...she's not. Per usual.*
Me: "(Person) is not at her desk. Would you like to leave her a voicemail?"
FCOtDII: "Well, I'm returning her call."
Me: ...
FCOtDII: "Yes, I will leave her a voicemail."
You know? As if FCOtDII returning Person's call alters reality! "Good Lord! I just felt a disturbance in the timestream! Up is Down! Black is White! Biff runs Hill Valley! And (Person) has been at her desk waiting to receive your call the entire time! Madness!"
Thank you, -t and MM. I needed that. Both Pooh Case and a laugh.
Grrr to AV, Susan. Now I'm picturing him as that skinny, pimply, bad clothes-wearing AV Club geek from (fictional) High School, setting up film strips and muttering to himself, "Someday I'll make you all pay..."
Guess who gets to go file a police report against one of our tenants for passing us a stolen money order this weekend?
Yikes.
How did you discover it was stolen? Or did the bank discover that? If so, I suppose the victim reported it stolen?
Steeling a money order just doesn't seem like a viable crime....
Guess who gets to go file a police report against one of our tenants for passing us a stolen money order this weekend?
Ooohh, me please! And you could cover for P's slacker ass instead?!?!
Who was that flip flop wearing stranger?
I don't know why it bugs me, but I hate when customers ask "How ya doin'?" and wait for an answer.
Maybe it's because I know they don't really give a shit and they're now wasting my time with stupid "pleasantries".
But the last call was kind of priceless:
FCOtDIII: "Hey, how you doin'?"
Me: "I'm fine. How are you?"
FCOtDIII: "I'm just frickin' great."
Me: ...
My stories aren't as funny as MM's, but I do get some weird calls.
last night I got someone who was desperate to get out reports, but the printer didn't work. I realized halfway through the conversation that this was the same store, but not the same manager, that called us for a replacement printer earlier in the day. The fax/scanner part was saing it was jammed. Printer worked ok at that time.
I asked her if this was the same printer.
her: "Yes," she said, "but it should print. "
me: "Did you unplug the power and plug it in and try it again?"
Her: "Of course! It just sits there and says there's a jam. I did everything."
Me: "Could you try unplugging it and plugging it in again?" Sudden inspiration strikes, "From the wall?"
Her, frustrated: "Oh, all right."
Me: "What does it show now?"
Her: "It's printing! It's printing!"
ETA: I have had many people says they have unplugged the power, and all they did was take the USB cable out from the back of the printer.
Who was that flip flop wearing stranger?
I don't know. I almost don't recognize her, what with the flip flops and good color from being in the sun all day.
I don't know why it bugs me, but I hate when customers ask "How ya doin'?" and wait for an answer.
My housemate systematically adds that to every greeting. Drives me nuts. I stopped answering months ago. And yet...
