I'm also terrified of a horrible, screaming phone call from one of her parents.

That's part of why I suggest "warn bio-dad first". They've got nothing to scream about if he had the chance to come clean and did not.

Either way, warning him or not, I risk the phone call.

I'm also terrified of a horrible, screaming phone call from one of her parents.

Caller ID. If that doesn't work, there's always hanging up.

I'm also terrified of a horrible, screaming phone call from one of her parents.

You have call waiting Caller ID [thanks, Sparky!], right?

Caller ID and Call Waiting: True modern marvels.

I'm also terrified of a horrible, screaming phone call from one of her parents.

she's an adult. And don't forget that you can hang up the phone. You don't owe them anything.

Either way, warning him or not, I risk the phone call.

Yes.

But you can honestly tell them they don't have a leg to stand on if THEY blame YOU for delivering a shock to their daughter.

And you take away their "well, we were GOING to tell you dear,when the time was right but mean bad Aimee blah blah blah"

And, if they haven't told her, it is better that she learn if from them. For her sake, give them one last chance to be good parents about this.

Wow, Empress.

Relatives are like timebombs, aren't they. I half expect Hubby's daughter to appear at our doorstep someday with some amazing tale that will throw unexpected developments into my life. Then there's his son, somewhere in the world, who may or may not know that the man he calls Dad isn't the genetic donor.

I wonder how many people's lives are moments away from high drama and they never know it.

I would also add your email. give her all ways to communicate. Letter looks good

good luck Aimee

Aimee, you don't owe your bio-dad anything.

However, if he's had a relationship with your half-sis, and if you don't know whether that relationship is good or bad, you might want to send him one last note, telling him that you're going to contact half-sis, and if he wants to break the news first, he can do so, but if he chooses to NOT break the news, you're still going to contact her.

If he has a decent relationship with her, she might want to hear it from him first.

I'm not saying that you should decide whether to contact her based on his reaction; definitely contact her, no matter what. But maybe give him one last chance to do the right thing. Give him a time frame; like Trudy said, tell him that you're going to contact half-sister in March no matter what, so if he wants to be honorable about it, he has until then to tell her.