Happy birthday to Jesse and Theo!

Can I go home yet?

Are you at work or the ER, ita?

Latest on Britney Spears: [link]

Considering how erratic she's become, what with the running of multiple red lights with her lights off at night, I wonder how she's managed to not get killed in a car accident or overdose....

Just when you think she can’t do it again, she does. Britney Spears kicked off her holiday weekend with a bizarre trip around the greater L.A. area that included profanity-laced tirades, hours of aimless driving, scuffles with paparazzi, a stop at a hotel and several trips to gas station bathrooms.

Her escapades began just after midnight Saturday, Dec. 22, when Spears, driving her Mercedes with the headlights off and the trunk open, made a trip to Rite-Aid. “I have to buy stuff for my babies,” Spears told photographers, reports People. After testing and not buying several deodorant sprays, the mag reports that she bought Lucky Charms cereal, Purex laundry detergent, chocolate chip cookies, and a 32-inch plush horse. (Is this what babies want these days? Just asking.)

The following night, Dec. 23, in the same turquoise top (sans bra) and jeans as the previous day, Britney left her home and drove to a gas station where she used the restroom and witnesses overheard her unleashing a profanity-filled tirade at a friend over her cell phone, according to OK! magazine. Spears visited two more gas-station restrooms during the next hour, and drove aimlessly around L.A. blowing through one red light after another, according to the mag.

Are you at work or the ER, ita?

Work. I've given up on the ER, which is kinda inconvenient, since the head still hurts.

I'm not going to point fingers, because lord knows that I've participated in my fair share of drunken shenanigans over the years, but seriously, Britney Spears needs some adult supervision, or at least one Sober Friend with the balls to tell her "no" and confiscate her car keys.

Britney Spears needs some adult supervision, or at least one Sober Friend with the balls to tell her "no" and confiscate her car keys.

Yeah. Somehow I think she doesn't have friends like this at the moment.

Can the state declare her a "danger to herself and others" and at least not let her drive anymore?

She needs to be in JAIL, yo. Because if she ever hit me, I'd own her, her kids, and her mom. And I'd make her mom bash her head into concrete 58 times a day and apologize for using her kids as meal tickets.

And where's the dad? He has to flog himself with his own penis, which will be studded with rusty nails.

Also, I feel like breaking down in tears, and I know not why.

I called my neighbor at 9 to tell her to move her car so she wouldn't get a ticket, but when she answered she was all ALLYSON. THE FUCK?

And I was all, "sweetheart, you just paid 800 in tickets off. move your car."

And then she hung up. I know she'll feel bad later, but I feel pretty awful and stupid.

I encourage the use of out-of-office auto-replies and changing your voicemail to reflect your absence.

It's a good general rule.

Allyson--you have to decide if taking on other people's wellbeing is ultimately healthy for you. There's absolutely no guarantee of it being taken the right way, much less gratitude, so if them being off bothers you then you may need to stop.

You feel awful about doing a favor? Neighbor needs to know when someone is looking out for her, is what I'm thinking.