Oy, Allyson and ita! We gotta health you two up.

EM's here helping us get ready for xmas. Presents are wrapped. Stew is on the stovetop. I'll be making salmon for JZ.

JZ and Matilda (in a fancy red velvet dress) are off at mass. Emmett got his bike early for xmas so we went on a ride earlier and my legs are killing me. It's been a while. But damn it felt good swooping around through GG Park. But it's a cruiser without gears, so when I'm going up a steep hill the only extra gear is My Quads Are Burning.

After dinner we'll trundle down to the gigantic decorated tree in Golden Gate Park. We'll have hot chocolate and cookies and we'll sing some carols under the tree.

Stockings are stuffed. Still have to clean off the table. Drinking champagne. Christmas is a'cuming in.

Nutty will be happy to hear that Emmett got a Paw Sox cap from his Aunt.

Oh GEEZ. Allyson and ita! ACK. Do either of you need something that I can actually help with? ita, is your sister with you? Allyson, are you feeling like you want to go to urgent care? Cause I have an urgent care trip in my very near future due to an unfortunate ear infection that is making it hard to bite down.

Shockingly, we left Idaho without incident -- even tempted fate by driving through a border spot called Snowville and the roads were clear. WHEE!

Met mom in Vegas. Vegas before xmas = insanity. Noah, bless his pudge heart, didn't melt down in spite of being in the car for 13 hours and dealing with the Flamingo hotel full of every Asian gambling person in the US.

We went to see the conservatory at the Bellagio, had breakfast then got the hell out of there. And now we are home. Gifts are wrapped, stockings have SOMETHING in them. My mom is in the shower and cloth super diapers are being washed.

Sigh.

Seriously, LA People, stop being sick.

And everyone, have a merry xmas, if you do celebrate. Everyone else, enjoy the day too!

HA! This is making the email rounds but it reminds me of K responding to a gas station attendant's "Have a Merry Christmas" with "Only if you had a happy hanukkah."

1. To All My Liberal Friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere . Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

2. To My Conservative Friends:

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Geez, what's up with the poor LAistas and the sickness? Best hopes for health for all of you. Be careful, Allyson!

And HI HI ita's sister!!

Allyson, sorry you're so sick. Please feel better soon. (I hate the whole puking thing, too. I have bronchitis right now and have had such bad coughing fits that they send me into gag and puke. Yuk.)

And when you feel better, please let me know if you got my e-mail offer of a used but functional digital camera. If you don't want it, that's cool. If you do, just let me know where to send it. I'm nursebobbi at cox dot net.

Well, fucksticks.

I'm home. Let's call that an upside, shall we?

I have a headache. So there's a downside.

I don't have the energy to be furious, but I think I've given up. If it's not possible to cure my headache without killing me, someone has to just step up and say it.

This is not a process of negotiation. I won't say "6mg every half an hour" in an attempt to get you to shift somewhat from "2mg every 8 hours."

Either you think I'm in that much pain, or you don't. Fact is, the whole reason I'm there is that 4mg spaced by hour and a half just wasn't cutting it. What about 2mg every 8 sounds like it's going to help? 4 every 6?

I need a referral to a whole new set of doctors.

Kat's post reminded me of the bit from Yes, Minister that I've posted here before. I still think it's funny.

Sir Humphrey: "I wonder if I might crave your momentary indulgence in order to discharge a by no means disagreeable obligation which has, over the years, become more or less established practice in government service as we approach the terminal period of the year -- calendar, of course, not financial -- in fact, not to put too fine a point on it, Week Fifty-One -- and submit to you, with all appropriate deference, for your consideration at a convenient juncture, a sincere and sanguine expectation -- indeed confidence -- indeed one might go so far as to say hope -- that the aforementioned period may be, at the end of the day, when all relevant factors have been taken into consideration, susceptible to being deemed to be such as to merit a final verdict of having been by no means unsatisfactory in its overall outcome and, in the final analysis, to give grounds for being judged, on mature reflection, to have been conducive to generating a degree of gratification which will be seen in retrospect to have been significantly higher than the general average."

Jim Hacker: "Are you trying to say 'Happy Christmas,' Humphrey?"

Sir Humphrey: "Yes, Minister."

I don't have the energy to be furious, but I think I've given up. If it's not possible to cure my headache without killing me, someone has to just step up and say it.

This is not a process of negotiation. I won't say "6mg every half an hour" in an attempt to get you to shift somewhat from "2mg every 8 hours."

Either you think I'm in that much pain, or you don't. Fact is, the whole reason I'm there is that 4mg spaced by hour and a half just wasn't cutting it. What about 2mg every 8 sounds like it's going to help? 4 every 6?

I need a referral to a whole new set of doctors.

Can't disagree with that. Even with our screwed up medical system and our drug war paranoia, that has to be possible somewhere in your area.

I'm so sorry everyone's sick! Let me know if I can help. I have no exciting plans for today, and could easily help out if needed. Allyson, you're not even all that far from me.

Hi, ita's sister!

I spent 8 hours and 15 minutes at work today, and would've stayed longer except that we had equipment failure. Everyone who left early? Which was just about, oh, everyone? They are all terrible slackers. Just to be clear. I was willing to stay longer, on Christmas Eve, with zero overtime pay and zero Christmas bonus, to save the 97 different types of complicated files that the main office was requesting that I make today. Because, apparently, I work for Scrooge McDuck. However, Santa loves me and made the computer sulky. So Santa is awesome.