When I was a kid I used to wet the bed. Once my dad woke me up in the middle of the night and told me to go to the bathroom. I stood in front of the toilet with my pants down but I didn't go. My dad told me to go and I still didn't. Then he swatted my behind once, and I proceeded to pee on the floor.

Apparently I was in some sleepwalking-like state, as the next morning I had no recollection of this at all.

Oh sweet Christ. They want me to come in for a two hour meeting this week.

How am I supposed to swing that? I guess I'll have to come up with an "appointment" of some kind.

Apparently I was in some sleepwalking-like state, as the next morning I had no recollection of this at all.

I used to have night terrors when I was in grade school, where I would be up pacing, agitated, eyes wide open and loudly describing why I was so worked up (sounded like stuff out of really bad dreams when it was relayed back to me - stuff like melting people down to make bullets). Never once did I have a recollection of it afterwards. I think it only happened a half dozen times, but it freaked my parents right the hell out.

They want me to come in for a two hour meeting this week.

Oh, but that's promising, right?

I guess I'll have to come up with an "appointment" of some kind.

I'm going to offer my old standby suggestion: plague.

How am I supposed to swing that? I guess I'll have to come up with an "appointment" of some kind.

This or call in sick.

I guess I'll have to come up with an "appointment" of some kind.

Tell your bosses that you stumbled on a portal behind some filing cabinets in the basement you work in and ended up in John Malkovich's head for seven minutes before being dumped on the highway outside of Chicago.

Go plague! Choose plague!

Oh, but that's promising, right?

Apparently so!

This or call in sick.

I don't have any sick time left. I think I have enough vacation hours to take a half-day...

I think it only happened a half dozen times, but it freaked my parents right the hell out.

Me too! Except not so much with the terror. Apparently when I was little I would sleepwalk and saying things designed to freak my parents out, like, "I want my mommy...no, my REAL mommy!" Oops. Sorry, mom!

I sleptwalk a bit when I was a kid and into my teens, but nothing terror-ific. Usually, it was just me wandering around until I was redirected to my bed by whoever found me.

Once, my sister was having a friend over for a sleepover so they took over Mom's bedroom (she was out for a conference), and Sis was surprised when I strolled into the room at 2:00 am (while she and her friend were chatting) and I asked for Mom. She reminded me that Mom wasn't home, and I just said, "Oh, yeah..." and went back to bed. She asked me about it the next morning, and I had no clue why I was looking for Mom.

As for talking in my sleep, well, I still do that.