I get the family culture problem. My mother bought her own silver (married in 1970 with no registry, didn't inherit any) a few pieces at a time as present to herself over many years.

When I first moved up here, I had a set of dishes the family I sat for was getting rid of and mmismatched stuff I'd stolen from home. First time my parents came out here, mom bought me basic flatware,a set of small blue glass bowls and plates at IKEA and green and red glass dinnerplates at Target. I need to get rid of the freebie ugly plates. I love my glass plates. Otherwise, I'm pretty much "oh shit, I need a roasting pan" and pick up a cheap one somewhere. Even my knives suck!

I'm terribly mismatched. I got a set of nice flatware (in a wooden case even!) one year for xmas, but I haven't used it yet.

About the only think I want, household wise, that I don't need are pieces of mexican pottery from an artist/school I adore. I ought to remind the parents of that/pick some more up when I'm visiting. They're hand painted and each unique, so I have to sort through to pick my favorites.

My mother bought her own silver (married in 1970 with no registry, didn't inherit any) a few pieces at a time as present to herself over many years.

That reminds me! I should ask my younger cousin if she really wants our grandmother's china, because I do! And my grandmother told me it'll go to younger cousin because older cousin and I will each get our mother's.

And Jesse reminds me that my aunt has a coffee service with my name on it. Though what I'll do with a copper or silver (I don't recall which. Grandma had a lot of copper stuff too) coffee service, I don't know. Mom has her wedding china (which I love, it's very simple and classic) and a couple other sets which were her inlaws. Most of the orofor(?) glassware has broken, I think. Grandparents brought it back for them from sweden.

when you all talk about 401(k) contributions, are you all putting in the max each year? I can't seem to manage that - ever.

Right now, since I trying to pay down my debt, I am just putting up enough to get the full match at work (i.e., 6%, which gives me a match of 4.5%). Free money, etc. Even once I can save more though, I'll probably keep my 401K where it is and do the rest as a Roth.

Megan is me. Different percentges, though. But I do contribute up to the maximum of what my employer matches. Once my debt is paid off (which should be by the end of 2008), my plan is that I would max out a Roth IRA before maxing out my 401(k). Then I would max out my 401(k) b/c it's pre-tax.

cool 10

no cellphones - not sure I could do this, but I am hopefully losing my landline this year, so the same savings
no cable - check
pack lunches for work every single day - moving in that direction
eat out once a week tops - also moving in that direction for lunch/dinner with mac
don't eat much meat - I don't feel like we eat much, but I am intrigued by this
don't drink alcohol - check
buy it used or on clearance or do without or borrow it - well, not for everything, but yeah most things
for clothes, have a few quality things instead of many cheap trendy things - moving in that direction, generally just not buying much at all
don't get caught up in competitive stuff (this goes for anything from kids' activities to clothes to going out for dinner with richer friends to family gifts) - pretty good on this
find cheap splurges if you like presents to make yourself feel good (like a $5 bar of fancy soap, or new nail polish) - yeah my splurges used to be $100 massages or some binge shopping, must find an alternative.

thanks for the tips.

oops, I guess the polar express is not a great movie to watch in a "Santa Clause is a not a real person" household with a 6 year old.

Where I am on the Flea Ten

no cellphones - cellphones are the only way we can do our one-car household (commute coordination) and stay sane, but I have a cheap brick on a pre-paid plan that costs me about $25 every few months.

no cable - check

pack lunches for work every single day - very bad on this one, despite cafeteria hatred. Wake up too late to motivate. But I bought a lunch carrier thing (I'm trying to not do sandwiches) and will be boiling some eggs for it.

eat out once a week tops - I try that. Realistically, it's "eat out a bunch one week, don't eat out for a couple weeks" because so much of it is work-schedule based.

don't eat much meat - check.

don't drink alcohol - we drink moderately. If we're really budgeting, we split beers to make a six pack 12 servings.

buy it used or on clearance or do without or borrow it - this one depends.

for clothes, have a few quality things instead of many cheap trendy things - I have lots of random cheap thrift store clothes. Very little new stuff. My clothing budget is actually really small (and I think is spent mostly on bras), which shows, but hey, it's not like work has a dress code.

don't get caught up in competitive stuff (this goes for anything from kids' activities to clothes to going out for dinner with richer friends to family gifts) - really, we only see Jilli and Pete and one other couple socially, and it's never competitive.

find cheap splurges if you like presents to make yourself feel good (like a $5 bar of fancy soap, or new nail polish) - I need to do this one WAY less often.

I have a cellphone, but it's a Virgin Mobile pay-as-you-go, so I only pay $20/quarter for it.

Cable is my downfall; I don't pay for the movie channels, but I do have the basic digital cable package.

I'm trying to bring my lunch at least 2-3 times a week (I've been doing it 0 times so far, so this is a big step up).

Eating out/take out is another 5 times a week thing that I'm trying to reduce to 2-3 times instead.

Meat is about 3-4 times a week, but I'm trying to get that down to 1-2 times instead.

Alcohol is about 4-5 times a year, so that's not a problem.

E-bay is my friend, as are online coupons and store discount cards. I'm using my bookstore discount for as many presents as possible this year.

I go clothes shopping maybe four times a year for necessities only.

I've stopped worrying about keeping up with the Joneses years ago; if I can't afford it, I don't buy it.

Splurges have turned into what I can get at the bookstore or at the discount rack.

ChiKat can tell you that I fell apart on her, crying about my $2k in credit card debt. I know I can pay that off in a matter of six months or so if I really buckle down, which I'm planning on doing after the holidays. If I can get them paid off (one of the accounts has been closed for some time, but I've only been paying the minimum on the balance, and the other is only a small credit limit and will be easy to pay off), I'll be a lot less stressed.

It's funny that money is the topic of the day here, because I was just stuck with an unexpected expense this afternoon--a tire that had already been going flat when I drove out East for Thanksgiving, but hadn't shown any leakage while I drove around my mom's area that weekend, was flat again today when I came out of the DMV after getting my registration renewed, so I had to take it over to Just Tires and get it replaced. Between the new sticker and the tire, I dropped $200. Oy vey. So, the bookstore paychecks I had been intending to deposit for Xmas shopping ended up going into the account to cover the tire. I had to tell my mom that she'll be getting a postdated check for her Xmas gift instead of the Lowe's gift card she was going to get from me.

The more I listen to other people the more I realize that being a renter with no car and health insurance greatly reduces my likelihood of unexpected expenses.