I will send as soon as I get home tonight.

I'm just glad I'm not the only one who's dealt with stuff like this.

You are so not alone. My parents never had debt of any kind. Ever. If they couldn't pay cash, they didn't buy it. I should know better.

And my sister is rich, and not at all sympathetic.

Happy Birthday to Princess Em!!

Susan, a lot of have gone through it; nothing to be ashamed about. Looks like you're on the right track.

Re: the wedding gifts. My boyfriend and I were discussing this recently and he's of the mind of having no registry and seriously telling people no gifts. He's quite a bit older than I am, and was married for a brief period in his 20's. He lives like a grad student still, even though he's in his 50's (grad student: broken mismatched furniture and no matching anything--dishes, or towels) and has $$$ in the bank. I have always been sort of of the mind of having no registry, and downplaying the gifts, too. But then the selfish part of me started adding up ALL of the wedding, bridal shower, baby showers, etc gifts I've given. And I guess part of me happily participates (including being a bridesmaid four times, and throwing five separate baby showers) knowing that one day, it'll be my turn.

I realized something ugly about myself: I've been looking forward to the "my turn" and was disappointed to think it might not happen.

I am ashamed but there you go.

What I realized only recently was that Mom's lectures were so emphatic because she and Dad had been there, when they were first married and quickly had three small kids while Dad wasn't making much money. By the time I came along they owned the land and the house, Dad was a union electrician, and they were generally doing well in a blue collar, rural middle class way. But I didn't know the backstory; I just absorbed the idea that debt was something that only happened to people with no self-control or responsibility.

ION, my baby is growing up.

We've always called her Boo, at least when we're not calling her Annabel, AB, or Anna-boo. Today when DH called her Boo, she said, "My name is Annabel." He tried to explain that she was his Boo, but she just reiterated, "But I'm not Boo. I'm Annabel."

It sounds like when my nephew explained to me that he couldn't hug anyone but his Mom and Dad anymore (which lasted all of a day, until he fell down and came running towards me crying and with arms outstretched).

Jesse - I say you put a few of the things you would want on the registry on your Christmas list. seriously. It's why I now have some pieces of crystal - I put them on my list because future wedding or not, I want some nice things.

I have started asking for things as gifts that will reduce some regular out of pocket expenses for me: a month of Y membership, gift cards, replacement clothes (clothes outgrown/worn out/stained)...

Flea, share your top 10.

mac is watching polar express.

I managed to not buy coffee out all week - saving 10-15. And I only had lunch out twice out - which saved 15-23. savings based on what I typically spend and the weeks where I was buying out every day.

I also sold a couple more things online and listed more books, so I am feeling pretty good about changing habits to save small amounts of money over the long term.

when you all talk about 401(k) contributions, are you all putting in the max each year? I can't seem to manage that - ever.

Jesse - I say you put a few of the things you would want on the registry on your Christmas list. seriously.

Yeah, I just don't trust my family to follow directions (the flatware I'm not crazy about came from my grandmother in the first place! and my plates etc. I think I got from you!). But yeah, I am.

do you use online wishlists? I swear kaboodle is a great thing.

when you all talk about 401(k) contributions, are you all putting in the max each year? I can't seem to manage that - ever.

Right now, since I trying to pay down my debt, I am just putting up enough to get the full match at work (i.e., 6%, which gives me a match of 4.5%). Free money, etc. Even once I can save more though, I'll probably keep my 401K where it is and do the rest as a Roth.

FWIW, Dave Ramsey's baby step 4 (I think it's 4) is 15% towards retirement.