I avoid anything about someone dying of cancer. I have chosen to believe that no one dies of cancer.

People tell me I'm strong because I haven't given up. In due modesty--I just don't have the imagination to work out how to give up.

People said things like that do me when I was in chemo. It's not strength. It's not bravery. It's just putting one foot in front of the other, because what else can you do? I just keep hoping for something that can give you some relief.

But it all is coming together for such a quick move. I am quite happy and satisfied with how well things are going.

Good to hear!

The ER is my obsession right now. Either I'm in it, planning to go in, or working out how not to.

Less good to hear. This morning, I spent at least three hours kind of drifting between asleep and awake, so needless to say, I had a lot of weird dreams that I remember. I think in one of them you were going into some 6-month treatment program, but I couldn't tell you the details.

In another one, I accidentally insulted Neil Patrick Harris, who was sitting right there! Oops.

I spent at least three hours kind of drifting between asleep and awake,

hate that. Did it this morning from 4:30 to 8:00 or so.

I didn't mind it, because I was afraid when I woke up at quarter to seven (and it was PITCH BLACK out, wtf), that was going to be it for the night.

Oh, I guess tomorrow they're fixing the pitch black issue, huh.

I am planning on napping.

People said things like that do me when I was in chemo. It's not strength. It's not bravery. It's just putting one foot in front of the other, because what else can you do?

Ginger, I can so easily relate to this! I swear, when people tell me how strong I am for anything Grace-related, it makes my head spin. It's not strong. It's life. I do what I have to do because I have to do it. Not because I choose to or because I want to.

I'm at a conference today. Bleh.

I'm almost halfway through my all-day programming class, which at least is going relatively fast. I wish I was playing with Illustrator, though.

Kat, you were strong before the kids were born. You haven't lost that, and maybe it's more evident to people who don't know you that well.

Thanks, Allyson. That's a really good thing to hear. It's just so weird to me that people think having a sick kid makes me strong.

K spent a long time with Grace the other day, after activities. She has decided that we can't treat her much differently than Noah. She played "TOUCHDOWN!" and "SAFE" with her (with the appropriate arm motions). Made the same noises at her that she does at Noah. Picked her up and tried to get her to stand (Grace was all, "WTF? You want my LEGS to hold me? You CRAZY, lady." I love all of that.

I wish I didn't have to work. I wish I could stay home and just be with my children, especially Grace.