Why didn't I give up on ER when I said? This week there's a woman who's walked in with a splitting headache, who's told she looks comfortable, who says she has a high tolerance for pain, and is given a neuro exam and she's told she has trigger points in her neck and is told to take ibuprofen and there's no way I can walk away now, is there? And no matter how it turns out, I can't not take it personally.

::sigh::

eta: On the up side, I've found my remote

ugh ita.

Yeah, turns out she was having psych problems and was acting out and later attempts to kill herself. Yay?

Are you serious? So did you want to punch out the tv? I would.

I had to take a long ass break from watching shows or movies where a parent died of cancer or someone was being taken off life support, and I still can't watch anything in which short term memory loss is played for laughs.

ita, er is no good for you. Just throw er over. You'll never look back.

FNL: This week's really felt much more season 1sh and Tyra breaking up with Landry made me so sad for him. And I love hearing CT call him "Lance." Also, very glad that Matt told Julie off. And Lilah, Tim and Street in Mexico were great.

At the end of today's ER visit I asked to go back in because I wanted to talk to the supervising doctor about my best approach to emergency care, since neither of this week's visits brought my pain down below a five. Left a rambling message with my specialist, and sent a slightly more coherent email to my primary care guy.

So, yeah, I wanted to break the TV and everyone in it. The ER is my obsession right now. Either I'm in it, planning to go in, or working out how not to.

Anyone know who did the songs in this week's Grey's? Yeah. I know. More medical shows. But this only flashed me back to a 93 surgery that was pretty untraumatic, all things considered.

I avoid anything about someone dying of cancer. I have chosen to believe that no one dies of cancer.

People tell me I'm strong because I haven't given up. In due modesty--I just don't have the imagination to work out how to give up.

People said things like that do me when I was in chemo. It's not strength. It's not bravery. It's just putting one foot in front of the other, because what else can you do? I just keep hoping for something that can give you some relief.

But it all is coming together for such a quick move. I am quite happy and satisfied with how well things are going.

Good to hear!

The ER is my obsession right now. Either I'm in it, planning to go in, or working out how not to.

Less good to hear. This morning, I spent at least three hours kind of drifting between asleep and awake, so needless to say, I had a lot of weird dreams that I remember. I think in one of them you were going into some 6-month treatment program, but I couldn't tell you the details.

In another one, I accidentally insulted Neil Patrick Harris, who was sitting right there! Oops.

I spent at least three hours kind of drifting between asleep and awake,

hate that. Did it this morning from 4:30 to 8:00 or so.