::go porndom, go porndom, choose shrift, choose shrift::

And why are we FFing through porn, hmm? Backstory, please.

College. A percentage of the audience (all female) was squeamish. Also, come to think, it might have been rewinding rather than FFing, to figure out what was on the (duped) tape.

Porn on rewind is even funnier! Their clothes fly back onto their bodies!

Babbling net software sparks international incident

Last weekend, a group of Israeli journalists used translation software in sending an email message to the Dutch Consulate in Tel Aviv. They wanted to discuss an upcoming visit to The Netherlands for a seminar on Dutch politics, but they ended up asking the minister several nonsensical questions about his mother.

"Helloh bud, Enclosed five of the questions in honor of the foreign minister: The mother your visit in Israel is a sleep to the favor or to the bed your mind on the conflict are Israeli Palestinian, and on relational Israel Holland," the email began, before making several more references to the minister's mum.

According to The Jerusalem Post, the Dutch Foreign Ministry is on the verge of filing a formal complaint against the journalists - and canceling their trip to The Netherlands.

According to The Jerusalem Post, the Dutch Foreign Ministry is on the verge of filing a formal complaint against the journalists - and canceling their trip to The Netherlands.

Clearly the Dutch Foreign Ministry has never been caught in the babelfish.com trap itself.

I can testify that pornography on fast-forward is about the funniest thing this side of sliced bread. Everything becomes inappropriately bouncy.

Ha, totally. It's good times.

I've had the seagulls from Finding Nemo saying porn porn porn porn porn porn porn porn porn in my head all morning.

I've had the seagulls from Finding Nemo saying porn porn porn porn porn porn porn porn porn in my head all morning.

No fair. Talk about an earworm. Geeeesh.

That's an awesome earworm.

I was almost over my cold, but was coughing a lot this morning, and took a swig of Delsym. Which is apparently now making my head spin here at work. Either that, or the massive bacon AND sausage breakfast burrito I had.

Regardless, I'm a bit useless now.

Good luck shrift!

I want to go eat in Kathy's cafeteria. It's free lunch day here, but the lunch is bordering on disgusting, so now I have to decide if lazy and cheap win out over my tastebuds.

Design your own shoes: Open Source Footwear

IS YOUR IMAGINATION ahead of the whole shoe industry and you're sick of waiting for them to catch up? Here's your chance to go over their heads and deal with someone who actually cares what you want. All that you need is that brilliant idea. Even just for part of a shoe - scribble it down and send it to us. We don't care if it's on a bar napkin, as long as we can make it out. So, fax it, mail it, email it, bring it in, just get it to us!

Will I Be Rich? Are you insane? Nobody gets paid for Open Source Footwear designs because nobody owns them. That's right: once you send us your design, it becomes public domain, freely available to all. We might use the whole thing, base a design of our own on it or just part of it. And your idea might only be for part of a shoe anyway. This keeps everything fair.

I just had the weirdest interaction with my boss. It was like I was getting reprimanded, but I wasn't sure what for, or what to do about it. Confusing!