To what degree do you notice the appearance of other men, and what sort of details do you pick up on?

Depends on context. If I'm working with them or in close proximity I might note things about them. (Heavy beard, lazy eye etc.) On the street? Pretty much generic typing. On the street also depends on context. Some streets I'm going to look for menacing body language and certain groupings. On the train I'm mostly conscious I don't want to be near the person with body odor or reeking of nicotine or whiskey.

Hm. I've got them meeting as strangers who rather quickly find themselves on the same side of a gunfight, and from there they develop an ultimately close but initially uneasy friendship, the unease stemming from differences in age, rank, and social class that push them apart despite their instinctive recognition that they're kindred spirits.

hmmm. I know guys that notice more - but it is usually very general ( he's a good looking guy) or comparative - ( if only I had that much hair) .

Hm. I've got them meeting as strangers who rather quickly find themselves on the same side of a gunfight, and from there they develop an ultimately close but initially uneasy friendship, the unease stemming from differences in age, rank, and social class that push them apart despite their instinctive recognition that they're kindred spirits.

Well, in this instance I'd notice everything about him because males tend to be very hierarchical. And I need to know whether I can count on him, and who's alpha in a firefight and shit like that.

We didn't have Santa when I was a kid, obviously. We were also given strict orders every year NOT to spoil it for other kids. (I violated that rule only once. And I was justified. Eric asked me what I wanted Santa to bring me. I replied, as per my instructions, "We don't celebrate Christmas, so Santa doesn't come to our house." He replied, "He comes to all houses where the kids have been good. You must have been really bad this year." Me: "No, he just doesn't come to our house." Him: "That must mean you're REALLY bad." Me: "There is no Santa! It's your parents who bring the presents!" Eric: tears.)

Me: "There is no Santa! It's your parents who bring the presents!" Eric: tears

I am a heartless bitch, understood. But Eric shouldn't have gone there. And he did. Sometimes you get burnt.

Oh, yeah. Fuck Eric. Life lesson for ya, kid. Suck it up.

t / Unsympathetic Primary Teacher Witch Lady

the affirmation should come last so it sticks.

Well, Connie, I know you love him, but in this case he's, ah, in error.

The thing you say first? That's the bit that sticks. The second bit comes across as an after thought, a half-hearted attempt to ameliorate the actual message.

I mean, it sounds a little like maybe he's just being macho and is loath to sound namby pamby with the praise-giving/acknowledgement of success; but if he's claiming that he WANTS the acknowledgement of success to be given priority - well, saying it after a put down is not, in fact, the best way to do this. At all.

wrt the Christmas thing - ChezJay we traditionally used to get pressies from Santa at the bottom of the bed/outside the bedroom door, and then pressies from us (and sometimes from Santa/The Cats) under the tree. Santa pressies we open first thing upon waking, Tree pressies we open after Christmas dinner. (Which is at midday, not the evening meal - in the North our meals are referred to as breakfast, dinner, tea, whereas in the South they're referred to as breakfast, lunch, dinner. For some reason.)

Anyhoo, have just returned home from a morning/early afternoon helping the BNH hospital stall at the Ploenchit Fair. This despite the fact that, palpably, I do not work for BNH Hospital, and indeed my actual employers had their own stall - however, our school is in the hospital grounds (and I think BNH sort of owns us, or something), and, more to the point, Angela who works there is friends with my head. And we've met - they let us have a fabulous art display there, and she and I talked a lot about that. And apparently she came to see A Christmas Carol and thought "aha! I'll see if I can get Fay to help! She'd stand there with a microphone!" So I did. Moreover, I came dressed in what many people clearly assumed was fancy dress; it was, in fact, pretty much what I'd have been wearing anyway, but the fact that the hat is appropriate was not lost on me. The stall? 'A Day At The Races' - people buy a ticket/tickets, then sit down to watch a video of a horse race and cheer their horse on. It was actually great fun, and we were all screaming and yelling the (pre-recorded) horses on to victory.

This evening I'm going to a vicars and tarts party. I'm rather costume-deficit, but will be going as a vicar. (I'd love to have a priestly coat a la Keanu in the later Matrix movies, but not enough forward planning...)

LOLTurtle.

I have just loved reading about everyone's Christmas traditions. I love having this place where there are so many different experiences and backgrounds. Not everyone has this, and it makes me a little sad for them.

And I'm going to stop there before I get all sappy. No, I'll say one more related thing, but it's not sappy. I shared my new website/blog with a few of my favorite professors (and the ones I thought would be interested). Turns out that one of my professors is VERY interested, as in she is just fascinated by this "new" discourse. I really do forget that not everyone interacts in this way, and most people, in fact, just don't understand it. So, I recommended Allyson's book to her.

It's just interesting to me. I look at it and sometimes study it, but my interest comes as an insider. It's kind of funny when suddenly I find myself trying to explain to an "outsider."

Oh, and Eric TOTALLY deserved that response!