You know that feeling you used to get in grade school when you'd just committed a particularly dorky social foul and you knew you were about to experience all kinds of hellish teasing as a result? Douglas Adams describes it quite well in Hitchhiker's when Arthur realizes it was he who locked up the ship's computer by getting it involved in tea making. It's that creepy prickle that creeps up your spine and settles around your shoulders. Lately that has been happening to me without warning. No social foul involved, I'm merely sitting at my desk (for example) working happily along and all the sudden I feel like I'm eleven years old and an irretrievable dork again. I wonder if it's a mild panic attack. One more thing to mention to my eventual therapist, I guess.

Somewhere, I acquired the superstition that you're supposed to have your tree out of the house before New Year's. And that all of its minions are supposed to go with it.

But Christmas doesn't even END until the 6th of January. (Or course, my family could stand to take the thing down earlier. Not sure what our record is, but there have been jokes about hanging hearts on the thing. Basically, as long as it isn't a fire hazard it stays up)

I am a bit of a grinch when it comes to Xmas. JUST CELEBRATE THE SOLSTICE PEOPLE!! Stop calling half that crap "Christian"

After a couple of hundred years things catch on. 'Fraid you're stuck with it.

I kind of dig those.

I'm prepared for the shunning.

I'm with -t. Christmas can't be too tacky, Valentine's Day can't be too sappy. 4th of July can't be too patriotic. Thanksgiving can't have too much pie. Restraint is for the rest of the days of the year.

My peeve this year is "holiday tree". Really? And what holiday would that be? Is it a Thanksgiving Tree? No, nope... that doesn't sound right. New Year's Tree? Qwanza Tree? Chaunukkah Tree? No. None of those have trees. Preeeeety sure its a Christmas Tree. Don't put up a tree and pretend its not a Christmas Tree. I suppose they could call it a Solstice Tree. But they don't.

Dad used to think he was oh-so-clever when he told people we had a "Channukah Bush".

SPP has deemed this a very Bitches story, so I shall tell it, here, in public(ish):

After school today, I went to the hardware store. I was able to find wire and plug just fine, but was having issue with figuring out what to use for the splice with the existing cord. There really are far too many options, and not enough guidance, so I asked for help.

The first guy assumed I was re-wiring a lamp. The second guy (eventually we got up to 3. I think I may have been the only customer in the store), asked what I was rewiring. Having forseen this turn of events, I had a ready answer:

"I really like my hairdryer and don't want to get a new one. The wire frayed."

Which satisfied him, as well as explaining why I couldn't easily hide the splice.

So, yeah, sitting on my living room floor, watching Bones, with my multitool, the guts of a vibrator, and some electrical tape.

And, being that I am, apparently, Kaylee-frelling-Frye, I not only fixed it, I even managed to hide the splice inside the body of the damn thing.

I knew people with Channukah Bushes. They were pretty much mocked.

My sister had a friend growing up and all he wanted for Channukah was a Christmas Tree. He was little enough that he couldn't quite grok why his Mom was saying no. He'd get an A "you deserve a treat, what do you want?" "A Christmas Tree!!!!". Poor little sucker.

They are pretty cool. And I know plenty of people who put them up secularly (is that a word?). But, dude, its a Christmas Tree.

But can it do a Crazy Ivan?

And, being that I am, apparently, Kaylee-frelling-Frye, I not only fixed it, I even managed to hide the splice inside the body of the damn thing.

Sure, but did you soup it up, Kaylee?

They were pretty much mocked

Well if anyone mocked us we deserved it because we're not Jewish! I think Dad just liked the way the syllables felt. Or maybe he started callng it that after my sister converted to Judaism. But that's a story for another time.

DebetEsse, that is an AWESOME story. They should film it and show it every year for Christmas Valentine's Day?

But can it do a Crazy Ivan?

t crosses legs

I'm not sure I want to find out.

Sure, but did you soup it up, Kaylee?

I have not yet leveled up enough to mess with motors. Particularly when replacing would be problematic.