Dad used to think he was oh-so-clever when he told people we had a "Channukah Bush".

SPP has deemed this a very Bitches story, so I shall tell it, here, in public(ish):

After school today, I went to the hardware store. I was able to find wire and plug just fine, but was having issue with figuring out what to use for the splice with the existing cord. There really are far too many options, and not enough guidance, so I asked for help.

The first guy assumed I was re-wiring a lamp. The second guy (eventually we got up to 3. I think I may have been the only customer in the store), asked what I was rewiring. Having forseen this turn of events, I had a ready answer:

"I really like my hairdryer and don't want to get a new one. The wire frayed."

Which satisfied him, as well as explaining why I couldn't easily hide the splice.

So, yeah, sitting on my living room floor, watching Bones, with my multitool, the guts of a vibrator, and some electrical tape.

And, being that I am, apparently, Kaylee-frelling-Frye, I not only fixed it, I even managed to hide the splice inside the body of the damn thing.

I knew people with Channukah Bushes. They were pretty much mocked.

My sister had a friend growing up and all he wanted for Channukah was a Christmas Tree. He was little enough that he couldn't quite grok why his Mom was saying no. He'd get an A "you deserve a treat, what do you want?" "A Christmas Tree!!!!". Poor little sucker.

They are pretty cool. And I know plenty of people who put them up secularly (is that a word?). But, dude, its a Christmas Tree.

But can it do a Crazy Ivan?

And, being that I am, apparently, Kaylee-frelling-Frye, I not only fixed it, I even managed to hide the splice inside the body of the damn thing.

Sure, but did you soup it up, Kaylee?

They were pretty much mocked

Well if anyone mocked us we deserved it because we're not Jewish! I think Dad just liked the way the syllables felt. Or maybe he started callng it that after my sister converted to Judaism. But that's a story for another time.

DebetEsse, that is an AWESOME story. They should film it and show it every year for Christmas Valentine's Day?

But can it do a Crazy Ivan?

t crosses legs

I'm not sure I want to find out.

Sure, but did you soup it up, Kaylee?

I have not yet leveled up enough to mess with motors. Particularly when replacing would be problematic.

Well if anyone mocked us we deserved it because we're not Jewish! I think Dad just liked the way the syllables felt.

OK, that's just awesome Laughing to death.

Or maybe he started callng it that after my sister converted to Judaism. But that's a story for another time.

Hmm... go with the first story for now. Wait, did your sister stay converted to Judaism?

I think she was (as my brother says) a jewess for a couple of years at most. iirc the last year we had a menorah I was in 7th grade and I know I was in jr. high when she started going to temple. Nevertheless I still know (pardon my phonetics) baruch atta attanoy, alohenou melach a olam!

The best part of the whole thing was that this was the way my sister chose to rebel against my parents. I just love that my parents were so open minded about our lifestyle choices that the only way to piss them off was to pursue an organized religion.