( continues...) they're right. I'm finding it very hard to just suck it up and go along with stuff; in fact the best I'm doing is going through the motions, rather than accepting that they're right. Ngah.

Anyway, yes - still feeling a bit raw and tearful, even hours later. I think I need a holiday.

not-surprised, Fay and I have a higher "match percentage" and "friend percentage" than pretty much anybody I've chatted with on OKCupid

Damn straight! Buffistas Unite! Oooh, and you list Ender's Game - I'm just revisiting it as an audiobook, and loving (1) the book and (2) the format. Not done the audiobook/podbook thing before - it would not be an understatement to say that it was a revelation. But...Ender's friend, from when he first arrived at Battle School - what was his name? I don't have a copy of the book, you see, but VoiceGuy pronounces it 'Ally' (as in 'they were allies'). But surely it should be Ali? Or is that an actual reflection of funky spelling? I'm hoping the latter, because the notion that the reader doesn't know how to pronounce Ali, when clearly the kid is Muslim, is depressing as fuck.

(And, yes, it nearly made me cry on the skytrain yesterday. Because Ender is six, and so are my kids. And that sort of killed me right there.)

(*of course, the thing is that in this conversation I hadn't actually asked for advice. So when he was saying 'no, you shouldn't be doing that' and I was saying 'but...this is why I'm doing that. What would it gain me to not do that?' he was being annoyed at the fact that I wasn't just accepting his advice. Whereas I was unwilling to undo what I'd done just on his say-so until I could see why he was right. Because, you know, I hadn't gone cap-in-hand for help. But maybe that's just how he sees me at the moment. Or in general. I don't know. He was all "You always do this. You ask for advice and then you just ignore it. Fine. I'll not give you any more advice." And I was all :"!!!!")

It's spelled "Alai." And I'm sorry to her you had co-worker conflict: always sucks.

(And if it helps you get over the shame, I almost always think I'm the smartest person in the room, too. At least about many things.)

And if it helps you get over the shame, I almost always think I'm the smartest person in the room, too. At least about many things.

Funny story. My brother is probably the smartest person I know...and well, I know all of you guys, so that's saying something. He's also someone who's brilliant and knows it.

This summer we all participated in a family research study, looking at whole families (or as much of the family as could participate) where one of the members (in this case, me) has a certain psychiatric diagnosis. So, anyways, my brothers came into town for our yearly family trip and were able to participate. In the car, on the way up to Maine, we were talking about some of the questions (though, we didn't do much of this). My brother said his favorite question was, "Do you often feel superior to other people?" His response? "Yes. But that is because I am."

Love him, but humble he is not.

Oh poor Fay! Everyone gets a free work meltdown every now and then, I figure.

I have this thing where I think I'm pretty smart, but then assume that when I achieve anything, it's because some mistake has been made along the way, and they'll figure it out eventually and take it all away from me.

I didn't not skip a grade, I was held back in 3rd, more for social reasons than not being able to do the work. Although I was struggling with math.

My brother and FSIL are in town and it's been enjoyable, other than I can't spend time with them tonight because I have to work on my paper. But last night we were watching Criminal Minds and I figured out one of the plot points immediately because almost always when the situation happens the result is the same on any tv show. At the end of the show I was talking about it and got in an argument with my brother because there was no way he'd believe I figured it out without the foreshadowing. It just reinforced why we aren't close. It's like he can't ever act like I'm right or knowledgable about anything, he always has to argue about it.

Plei, sorry to hear about your Aunt Margaret.

I spent about 3 weeks in Kindergarten at then moved right into 1st grade. Even though I was always the youngest, somehow I was more mature than many of my classmates all the way through school. I don't know if it was the only child thing, child of divorce thing, or what.

I do feel that it left me with a need to prove myself and show that I deserve to be where I am. I graduated high school over 20 years ago and still have that need.

Now I have the opposite issue with CJ who did two years of Kindergarten. I know it frustrates him now that he was held back. We thought he was ready for Kindergarten when we first started him - so did his preschool teachers - but by the end of the year it was obvious he wasn't ready to move onto 1st grade.

Sorry to hear about your aunt, Plei.

I was effectively skipped a grade because my birthday is so late in the year & my parents put me in school "early" so I was one of the youngest in my class. My sister (also a Nov birthday) was redshirted* and so ended up older than most of her class. I think my parents made the right call on both of us.

Interestingly, in NYC she'd have been grade-skipped automatically once she entered public school. (PreK spots in the public schools are few and far between, so most kids are in private preschools until kindergarten, and many parents don't realize how strict the NYC public schools are about age limits.)

(*No, not killed off without a last name. In schooling terms, redshirting is when your kid is right on the edge of the age cutoff to enter kindergarten and you hold them back because you think they'd benefit from another year of PreK.)

I have this thing where I think I'm pretty smart, but then assume that when I achieve anything, it's because some mistake has been made along the way, and they'll figure it out eventually and take it all away from me.

Ah, the old inferiority/superiority complex. Count me in.

I dreamt last night that I got out of the shower this morning and glanced out the window to see a terribly handsome shirtless man installing curtains on the outside of the house. Aside from the "Oh! No clothes on!" part, it was a very happy dream. Handsome man AND curtains! I was in such a good mood until I woke up.

Plei, so sorry about Aunt Margaret.

I just got into another screaming match with a tenant who continues to be a total fucking asshole.

I hate this guy SO MUCH.

"I don't understand how I owe this much money."

"Because you never bother to pay your rent ON FREAKING TIME. EVER."