My evening. Let me tell you it.

5:30 Em and I get home. I pee, let the dog out to do the same, put meat in the micro to thaw. I let the dog in. I put on the 80's music channel, Em and I dance. Meat finishes thawing and I leave Em in the living room, coloring. I pull out my saute pan and chop some onions. Onions go into the pan. I go out to check on Em and she has gotten down the salt and pepper shakers and proceeded to season the ENTIRE dining room. I start to clean it up and am interruted by the smoke alarm. I decide to leave the mess for Joe (who left the shakers on the dining room table in the first place) and attend to the smoke detector. The incessant beeping has caused the dog to bark and Em to jump around yelling, "MOMMY! MOMMY! WHAT DAT NOISE!" I disable the smoke alarm and open doors to let the smoke out. I turn my attention back to the stove. I add more onions and the ground beef. I put the noodles in the boiling water. Emeline comes into the kitchen and asks for a new Princess dress. Why? I ask. "Cause I all wet." "Why are you all wet?" She frowns and looks down at the floor. Sigh. Did you pee in your pants? She nods. I take her upstairs, strip her down and put her on the potty. I go back downstairs to turn down the heat on the beef. I go back upstairs and discover that Em has created more poop than I thought possible from one so small. I cean her and the potty up, put her in PullUps and new pants, wash our hands and go back downstairs. Mop up the mess on the dining room floor. I go into the kitchen. Beef smells wierd. I pinch a bit out of the pan, pop it into my mouth and almost vomit. Didn't realize onions had burned quite so badly - it tasted rancid. In my frustration, I pulled the pan off the heat and dumped the contents into the brand new garbage bag in the garbage can. The heat from the oil melts the garbage bag, spilling oil, beef, and rancid burnt onions all over the inside of the garbage can. I take the noodles off the heat, drain them, put them in tupperware, coated them with olive oil and put them in the fridge. I popped a Diet Coke, grabbed the phone and ordered pizza.

I am so done with tonight. After Em goes to bed, I am getting a big glss of milk and the bag of Oreos and watching CSI dvds.

That's quite the domestic adventure you had there Aimee.

I feel like a combination of Amelia Bedelia and Anne Shirley. Maybe I'll invite one of our friends over and get them drunk and then sell my fanfiction so I can sell baking powder.

Aimee, I've sooooo been there. I'd be skipping the oreos and go straight to the Jack & Diet Coke.

Today I was trying to navigate the kids into the McDonald's playland while carrying our tray of food. Right in the middle of the restaurant, my cup tips over the side, lid comes off, ice and Diet Coke splash everywhere. I'm stuck there with Liv on my hip, trying to hold onto Owen AND the tray.

A nice old guy grabs the tray and carries it to a table for me. I turn 20 shades of red.

After we ate, Owen went up to a strange woman and tried to wrest her ice cream cone out of her hand.

After we ate, Owen went up to a strange woman and tried to wrest her ice cream cone out of her hand.

Ha!

A lilttle less than 30 min to go. I think Imma buff dive.

I say we play "Lord of the Flies" with Em and Owen. Take then to a deserted island and leave them there.

.....

On second thought, let's abandon them here and you and I go to a deserted island.

Mmmm pizza! Poor Aims.

I haven't figured out what to have for dinner yet. When I get home I hope to find that the boys made something already. I need wine. Don't much care what food goes with it. And House tonight!

Guess I better leave the office...

Oh, poor Aimée. Your evening sounds like a lost chapter from Life Among The Savages.

I've just added that book to my Wish List.

It's seriously made of awesome. And I'd be shocked if your local library didn't have a copy or three.