Spike's Bitches 38: Well, This Is Just...Neat.
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
OK, question: is there a good way to say to someone you've exchanged like, three emails with "gosh, your picture is very pretty but you are SO NOT MY TYPE"?
Cause this girl emailed me, and was a little weird anyway, and then I was like "Um, and you mention you're girly?" and she was like "Well, only on the outside, I'm very butch on the inside (blah blah fix cars)" and linked to a picture...where she's very pretty, very girly, and has long blonde hair.
Which is gorgeous. But so doesn't do it for me. I'm like "Uhhhhh...see, in the ad I said I was looking for someone butch or FTM? I, um, meant it?"
Flattery is sometimes the best policy. Mention how beautiful she is and that her interest is flattering, but that you think you two may not be the best match.
meara, is it worth meeting her first?
Yeah. I guess it's easier that she really is very pretty, and just not my type. As opposed to someone who is, in theory, my type, and just not cute! :)
(EDIT: I wrote and explained that she's very pretty but not my romantic type, and if she's looking for friends I need those too, so we'll see. Definitely no spark of "ooooh" though, for me. And pretty damn rare I feel that about any femmey girls)
Also, WTF are the people upstairs playing? It's very...bass-filled. And annoying. This place isn't toooo bad on the sound transmission, but the vibrations come through really easily (oddly, I hear the vibrations of their alarm clock in the morning, but no sound. Luckily, it's usually right around when mine is going off)
Now I'm wondering if I'm too femme for meara.
Which is a weird thing to wonder, and so there's absolutely no need to answer.
In a world that's more black and white than Kinsey-scaled, would you say a gay guy who's willing to make out with a woman (and who doesn't hate it) is bisexual? Similarly a straight woman who'll make out with a woman but has no interest in having sex with her or any other female?
In my head it's very possible to kiss outside one's orientation without shifting said orientation one bit.
and linked to a picture...where she's very pretty, very girly, and has long blonde hair.
A type is a type. She might be quite lovely but it's not sounding lovematchy. Sounds like you played it well.
Also, WTF are the people upstairs playing? It's very...bass-filled. And annoying.
Your upstairs are my downstairs. Let's spork them?
In my head it's very possible to kiss outside one's orientation without shifting said orientation one bit.
I agree. To me, bisexuality is only partially about sexual desire; it's also about romantic interest. If you have fun kissing people of the same gender from time to time but have no romantic interest in them, I think you are essentially straight.
ETA: But that's just me. I'm perfectly happy for people to label themselves.
Time to go buy some paint. Today, I am learning from yesterday's mistakes and tying my hair up in a pony tail. I don't think I ever did dip in into an open paint can, but it was a near thing often enough.
I used to paint professionally with long hair, and i swear by two french braids pinned into a bun. Or at the least two braid held together in the back and top of head covered with doo rag. It takes 15 to 20 minutes to do, but completely eliminates accidentally dipping hair into paint.
Unless you are dumb enough to leave a 1 gal bucket of super-fast drying enamel on top of an 8 foot ladder, then move ladder, spilling that which will never wash out onto top of head and all over self. In which case it's all over you and no preventative hair styling helps. But who would ever do that?
Ooh, Cass, clearly you should move to Seattle, where there is an IKEA, and be my upstairs neighbor!!
ita, your hair is very short, so that's a big plus in my book (and Hec's). :) The corsets and skirts and dresses are not what my usual romantic interests wear, but the ass-kicking and muscles are hot, so...it would probably depend on the chemistry in person! I also think smonster is very hot, and she's not really what I'd call butch, either. So it depends a little, but...
In my head it's very possible to kiss outside one's orientation without shifting said orientation one bit
I think it depends on the person. Some people take kissing way more seriously than I do. I'll kiss LOTS of people I have no intention of sleeping with (including girly girls, and boys). Other people I know dont' kiss people that they dont' think are hot enough to sleep with. If THOSE people kissed a person outside their usual preferred sex, then it might mean something, y'know?
In my head it's very possible to kiss outside one's orientation without shifting said orientation one bit.
I'm all for allowing people to define their ownselves. Sometimes I think they're not being 100% honest but I try to keep my mouth shut. I once heard someone say that men have an orientation and women have a preference. I consider myself bisexual and for most of my twenties I was convinced everyone else was bisexual too. Some very patient friends of various orientations and preferences managed to convince me that the Kinsey scale is real and some people really are 1s or 6s although that can change over time. I knew a guy in college who said that he felt like his orientation changed regularly. What was the question?
