I'm absolutely awful with remembering my students' names. I only see them for 45 minutes a week, unless they come to office hours, so I always get terribly flustered if someone comes up to me after class and says something like, "Did you get my email?" Chances are, I got emails from at least ten students that week, and I've got no clue who the person in front of me is. I know the people who come to office hours by name, and there are some students that I've got mentally catalogued as "Blonde girl who sits in the back corner and usually knows the answers to questions" or "Indian guy who thinks I don't notice he spends most classes text-messaging" or "Dark-haired guy who always wants me to explain every step of the algebra," but I'd say that at least a third of the class, I'm not positive I'd recognize outside the classroom.

Someone once suggested I try asking "How do you spell your name?" when I don't want to admit I don't remember someone's name. But the first time I tried it, it turned out his name was Jim. I decided that that felt even more foolish than just saying "I've forgotten your name."

(For my students, I usually try to ask each person their name when I call on them for the first few weeks. But after about three weeks, it gets embarrassing, and it really doesn't help me remember.)

yes I am on the plane. Yes united sent me an email saying gate 66. Yes they did change the gate to 71b. No they didn't email me the change. Yes its in a different terminal. Grrrr.

Hey, I've had to do that at LAX. Did you have to go through security twice?

OK, I have to admit, I've done things like that dozens of times, with people of all different races. Because I have no memory for faces whatsoever -- unless I've actually had a one-on-one conversation with somebody lasting at least a good fifteen minutes or so, there's very little likelihood I'll get beyond, "Yeah, you look familiar" the next time I see them.

Oh, me too except my problem is remembering the names! It pains me to admit how many people in the choir at my church, with whom I've now sung for a good 5 years or so...just look very familiar to me. I'd recognize their faces anywhere, and I know which part they sing, but names? Not so good with those.

Tonight our director rearranged our seating a bit to accommodate the new people who are coming in for Advent, and I was seated next to someone who's normally first row while I'm second. We totally hit it off, and I was thinking that if we're still this friendly at the end of December, we should get together socially...always assuming by then I've figured out her name, because I don't think I'll be able to look up her email in the church directory under "curly black hair, plays flute, normally sits next to Maxine." And race is totally not a factor. Our choir is painfully white, currently with only one exception.

WindSparrow--insent.

I'm another person who has trouble with names. If I had not been on-line with both of you for years, and was introduced to Susan and ita in person for the first time, there is a good chance that the next time we met, I would call you by each others name.

Have a great trip!

Susan, backflung.

Hey, was it omnis who waaaay up thread recommended okCupid? If so, big kudos to him...if not, omnis, take a bite and please pass the kudos to the appropriate party.

I confess that although I hadn't had any plans to do the online dating thing, I have now put a profile on OKCupid. And wandered back over to the Guardian's dating site, where there seem to be lots of very lovely people who are nice, sensible, lefty Guardian-reading (duh) types, quite a healthy chunk of whom I'd gladly date.

But they're, you know, in the UK.

Whereas OKCupid is global! And indeed a cute San Francisco boy currently in India tried to IM me as soon as I joined (but the connection was crap, so after five minutes of it trying to connect I just switched it off. Because, you know, I like to sabotage my lovelife).

Susan, I wish you all the best with your crappy work situation. It's great that there's this thing for you to fill in, though - insh'allah, that should at least clarify the situation somewhat. I do hope you don't end up having to go seek other employment, because that's a royal pain in the ass. Hopefully this can become the role you thought it was, rather than the role she thought it was.

Meanwhile, in job news, I'm feeling rather gloomy and depressed at the moment because (1) Since coming to Thailand I've gone back up a dress-size or so, I'd guess, and (2) the parents of one of my kids are complaining about me and want their daughter to leave my class.

These things are not related, but they are combining to create a general sense of bleakness.

wrt the thing with the kid - nice girl, and one of the most able in my class. (And one of the oldest.) Not the oldest, mind, not the most able. She joined the school last year, and at that time her dad thought maybe she should go into Year 2 rather than Year 1. In the UK system, the year you are in is determined by your age; we differentiate within the class to cater for a wide range of abilities. It's not a case of 'you've achieved this level, now move on to this grade'.

Anyway, apparently he came in several times last year pushing to have her moved up a yeargroup. And he still thinks that. And he's wrong; she's among the most able students in the year, but she is NOT working at a higher level than the rest of the kids. I had one of those last year, exceptionally gifted and able across the board; she is not in his league. But her dad insists that the work is too easy and she's bored.

So, okay, I need to stretch her more (and the other kids of her ability) - absolutely. I agree. And I said that when he came in to see me - that it was my job to do that, and that if I wasn't doing that properly I needed to fix it, but that she wasn't, in my professional opinion, in the wrong year group.

Anyway, he finally had a meeting with my head, and was very horrible, and when she was quite firm about not moving her to Year 3 he then said he wanted her moving into my colleague's class.

What. The fuck. Ever.

And the thing is, this kid really does not come across as bored. At all. Yes, I do need to challenge my top set more than I'm doing at the moment. But no, she's not miserable or bored in the class, she's not finishing things ahead of time, she's not twiddling her thumbs. And she's forever holding my hand, and kissing me (she's French - I have a bit of a Personal Bubble issue, but 2 of my little French girls and 1 little Indian girl are very clingy and hand-holdy and kissy, so I'm learning to live with it. They're very nice kids).

But - still feels quite horribly like I'm failing. Or like I'm being found out, if you see what I mean? (Not that there is anything to find out, but it's like feeling guilty when you're a kid and you're visiting a shop that gets stuff nicked, and the proprietor glares at you like a hawk, and even though you know that you're not trying to steal candy you still feel guilty and go red...unless that was just me?) And yet - I know that today's Literacy lesson was a good one. The kids were engaged, excited, they made (continued...)

( continues...) a great start to their work, it was pacey - I'm sure it could have been improved, but it was not a bad lesson. And I know that my kids are making progress. And I know that I'm continuing to improve as a teacher, and get on top of things. But I feel decidedly like I've been spanked, and not in a good way - even though my boss was very nice and kind and supportive about it, bless her. It still feels shitty.

...I just typed a long and only-interesting-to-primary-teachers thing about how I'm setting their spellings, and the spelling homework I'm sending, and I've deleted it, because really - you don't need to know. Suffice it to say that whereas last year my (more experienced) colleague was in charge of selecting all our spelling words, and just gave me the spellings, and there was no rhyme or reason to them that I could see, this year I've really felt on top of what I was doing and why. I've been linking spelling with handwriting and phonics, I've been sending home extra spelling games and literacy exercises tied in to the spelling words, and I've been seeing my least able kids progressing well. I agree that I should have not been giving my most able kids spellings for their year group - I should have set them harder words from the next year group. Okay. I take that on board - I was thinking 'consolidate, then move on', but okay.

But now I just have to stop all that, and use his stuff instead.

And, honestly, I'm arrogant enough (and unwarrantedly so, because he's a more experienced teacher than me, and he's very good) that I still think that what I'm doing with the spellings is better than what he's doing. I should have been selecting the words for my top group from a different word list right from the get-go, but other than that I think what I'm doing is bloody good.

...

...sorry. Dull dull dull. But - fuck. I'm frustrated.

And I'm probably trying to distract myself from the reality, which is that I do need to cater better to my most able students, and challenge them more. So I should shut the fuck up, because that's the fundamental thing - I can do better, and I should be doing better.

But, God. It just sucks, you know? To have all this "We have lost confidence in Miss Fay" thing, and feel like a failure, when I do know that they've had their knickers in a twist about her being in the 'wrong' year group since long before I was her teacher, and everyone else has told them they're mistaken.

t /tedious whining