WindSparrow--insent.

I'm another person who has trouble with names. If I had not been on-line with both of you for years, and was introduced to Susan and ita in person for the first time, there is a good chance that the next time we met, I would call you by each others name.

Have a great trip!

Susan, backflung.

Hey, was it omnis who waaaay up thread recommended okCupid? If so, big kudos to him...if not, omnis, take a bite and please pass the kudos to the appropriate party.

I confess that although I hadn't had any plans to do the online dating thing, I have now put a profile on OKCupid. And wandered back over to the Guardian's dating site, where there seem to be lots of very lovely people who are nice, sensible, lefty Guardian-reading (duh) types, quite a healthy chunk of whom I'd gladly date.

But they're, you know, in the UK.

Whereas OKCupid is global! And indeed a cute San Francisco boy currently in India tried to IM me as soon as I joined (but the connection was crap, so after five minutes of it trying to connect I just switched it off. Because, you know, I like to sabotage my lovelife).

Susan, I wish you all the best with your crappy work situation. It's great that there's this thing for you to fill in, though - insh'allah, that should at least clarify the situation somewhat. I do hope you don't end up having to go seek other employment, because that's a royal pain in the ass. Hopefully this can become the role you thought it was, rather than the role she thought it was.

Meanwhile, in job news, I'm feeling rather gloomy and depressed at the moment because (1) Since coming to Thailand I've gone back up a dress-size or so, I'd guess, and (2) the parents of one of my kids are complaining about me and want their daughter to leave my class.

These things are not related, but they are combining to create a general sense of bleakness.

wrt the thing with the kid - nice girl, and one of the most able in my class. (And one of the oldest.) Not the oldest, mind, not the most able. She joined the school last year, and at that time her dad thought maybe she should go into Year 2 rather than Year 1. In the UK system, the year you are in is determined by your age; we differentiate within the class to cater for a wide range of abilities. It's not a case of 'you've achieved this level, now move on to this grade'.

Anyway, apparently he came in several times last year pushing to have her moved up a yeargroup. And he still thinks that. And he's wrong; she's among the most able students in the year, but she is NOT working at a higher level than the rest of the kids. I had one of those last year, exceptionally gifted and able across the board; she is not in his league. But her dad insists that the work is too easy and she's bored.

So, okay, I need to stretch her more (and the other kids of her ability) - absolutely. I agree. And I said that when he came in to see me - that it was my job to do that, and that if I wasn't doing that properly I needed to fix it, but that she wasn't, in my professional opinion, in the wrong year group.

Anyway, he finally had a meeting with my head, and was very horrible, and when she was quite firm about not moving her to Year 3 he then said he wanted her moving into my colleague's class.

What. The fuck. Ever.

And the thing is, this kid really does not come across as bored. At all. Yes, I do need to challenge my top set more than I'm doing at the moment. But no, she's not miserable or bored in the class, she's not finishing things ahead of time, she's not twiddling her thumbs. And she's forever holding my hand, and kissing me (she's French - I have a bit of a Personal Bubble issue, but 2 of my little French girls and 1 little Indian girl are very clingy and hand-holdy and kissy, so I'm learning to live with it. They're very nice kids).

But - still feels quite horribly like I'm failing. Or like I'm being found out, if you see what I mean? (Not that there is anything to find out, but it's like feeling guilty when you're a kid and you're visiting a shop that gets stuff nicked, and the proprietor glares at you like a hawk, and even though you know that you're not trying to steal candy you still feel guilty and go red...unless that was just me?) And yet - I know that today's Literacy lesson was a good one. The kids were engaged, excited, they made (continued...)

( continues...) a great start to their work, it was pacey - I'm sure it could have been improved, but it was not a bad lesson. And I know that my kids are making progress. And I know that I'm continuing to improve as a teacher, and get on top of things. But I feel decidedly like I've been spanked, and not in a good way - even though my boss was very nice and kind and supportive about it, bless her. It still feels shitty.

...I just typed a long and only-interesting-to-primary-teachers thing about how I'm setting their spellings, and the spelling homework I'm sending, and I've deleted it, because really - you don't need to know. Suffice it to say that whereas last year my (more experienced) colleague was in charge of selecting all our spelling words, and just gave me the spellings, and there was no rhyme or reason to them that I could see, this year I've really felt on top of what I was doing and why. I've been linking spelling with handwriting and phonics, I've been sending home extra spelling games and literacy exercises tied in to the spelling words, and I've been seeing my least able kids progressing well. I agree that I should have not been giving my most able kids spellings for their year group - I should have set them harder words from the next year group. Okay. I take that on board - I was thinking 'consolidate, then move on', but okay.

But now I just have to stop all that, and use his stuff instead.

And, honestly, I'm arrogant enough (and unwarrantedly so, because he's a more experienced teacher than me, and he's very good) that I still think that what I'm doing with the spellings is better than what he's doing. I should have been selecting the words for my top group from a different word list right from the get-go, but other than that I think what I'm doing is bloody good.

...

...sorry. Dull dull dull. But - fuck. I'm frustrated.

And I'm probably trying to distract myself from the reality, which is that I do need to cater better to my most able students, and challenge them more. So I should shut the fuck up, because that's the fundamental thing - I can do better, and I should be doing better.

But, God. It just sucks, you know? To have all this "We have lost confidence in Miss Fay" thing, and feel like a failure, when I do know that they've had their knickers in a twist about her being in the 'wrong' year group since long before I was her teacher, and everyone else has told them they're mistaken.

t /tedious whining

Miss Fay, you're one of the least tedious whiners I've ever known. As is de rigeur it seems, for b.org teachers, you come across as conscientious, inventive, and sensitive. It's good that you're miffed about changing back to the colleague's words. But it looks like, even if you have no choice, that both you and your students benefitted in the meanwhile. Maybe the payoff will be somewhere else.

Got nothing on the other thing, though. Parents will persist in their -headedness. Looks like you've got school support-do you think that will extend to keeping her in your class, or is it better to let her go? That might be what it takes to get her father to understand--better that than bumping her up and having her fail (they bumped me up 1.5 years (don't ask--I still son't understand) and had to quickly drop me back down to 1 ahead (which was all undone anyway when we moved to London).

Fay, that is truly a sucky teaching situation. I cannot think of anything useful to say, other than that I'm sorry you are having to deal with this.

But good luck with the OKCupid listing.

Cheers, love - I know this is painfully mememe, but it did help to just spill it onto the screen. And, yes, I do have school support - my colleagues are being excellent about it. (The new deputy head, who is herself getting utterly undwarranted stick from some psychotic parents at the moment, gave me a little card and 3 scented candles this morning, bless her, to help me relax at home. Did I mention that I love my school?)

So - deep breath. Suck it in. Do better. Make them eat their fucking words.

At this point they have not removed their daughter from the school - and my boss, god love her, has drawn a very polite line in the sand (despite this being a fee-paying school) and is saying that she has faith in me, and that if the kid's in this school, she's in my class - and if she leaves my class and leaves the school, then so be it, and good luck with that.

Which is fucking awesome, and I really do appreciate. (The polar opposite of what I've seen in the other schools where I've worked.)

I keep reminding myself that in my career, obviously I'm going to have parents pissed off with me/their child's schooling. And that this is about as positive an instance as I'm going to get, and that I'm enormously lucky to have the support and confidence of my colleagues and my boss. So I need to chill the fuck out, and not take it to heart.

i've had people recast my sentences for me (part of my outsourced self-esteem) and looking at this as an example of support from your school rather than an assault from a parent is exactly the sort of thing they meant.

So much easier to have perspective on other people.

Man, I thought the baby was done crying. Poor tyke. ERs make me cry too, but I'm more of a sobber than a wailer.