But if it's okay, it's not cheating. Right? "Cheating" to me means you lie and sneak around.

Polannorous-Only able to get off with tiresome optimists.

what a fun rapid thread to read at work. I tell you what.

So, getting in pants and splitting hairs... um.. what if they shave? /dorkness

So, by some of the definitions out there, I have some very loving girlfriends who have boyfriends thus making me a non-sexual poly guy? Eh. I'm their platonic friend. I'm with those that said, once in a relationship, my emotions and stuff is with that person. ack. But like others said, it's been so long since I've been in one, I dunno.

Wow, what a wasted post. /ramble

If you're cheating on your SO and love them both, are you poly in a non-poly relationship?

Uh, no. You're being promiscuous in a monogamous relationship.

Inherent to a poly relationship is the idea that everyone is upfront and truthful and communicates and all that healthy stuff; in the situation quoted above, your SO knows about Guy #2 and is good with it. That would make it poly.

If you're cheating on your SO and love them both, are you poly in a non-poly relationship?

I think you can be poly and cheating at the same time, same as any other orientation.

Inherent to a poly relationship is the idea that everyone is upfront and truthful and communicates and all that healthy stuff,

I'd like to hope that that's inherent in the idea of every relationship. Yep. I'm an idealist.

Inherent to a poly relationship is the idea that everyone is upfront and truthful and communicates and all that healthy stuff,

I'd like to hope that that's inherent in the idea of every relationship.

Okay, but by saying that, I was trying to make the point that "cheating" (which involves not much truthfulness, et al.) is not "poly," in part because of the lack of honest communication.

Oh no, I knew what you meant. I just lament that sometimes it seems more non-traditional relationships have better honesty and communication than your typical "One man, one woman" type deal.

I can see why, I just lament it.

I just lament that sometimes it seems more non-traditional relationships have better honesty and communication than your typical "One man, one woman" type deal.

Seriously. I miss the days of making a guy have to wonder what I was thinking.* Now, I specify everything, right down to the color of the rope.

*(Not really. Being allowed -- nay, encouraged -- to ask for what I want means that, most of the time, I get it!)

Yeah, I think ours tend to get caught up in all the gender role uptight stuff. Which- insert DJ's rant about non-traditional relationships strenthening other relationships by throwing out outdated modes of the sexes relating to one another.