If nothing else, they make me feel old -- she's turning 28.

I'm 28, and people keep making me feel old all the time! And a loser. I'm running around making people refer to me as Milton Morlock Waddams.

I think I'll heat up some of the linguine with pine nuts and snow peas that was so tasty last night.

Whoa! Stunt fashion! Very cool and odd how they transform.

That's got to be a Sign of Something Wrong. Now, the question is, is it about the specific job, or working in general. Because if it's the first, presumably I could do something about it. If it's the second, I need to get a grip on reality.

Who wants a grip on that reality? I recently went to a casting session of "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?" and I am incredibly bitter that I wasn't cast. I have such a good plan for what I would do with a million dollars after taxes! It would be so fun! There were so many awesome things on my list: classes, traveling, writing, new clothes, and a condo, just to name a few. Plus the casting session was really fun, and both people in there kept laughing. I kind of think the fact that I got all the questions right is where I went wrong. And I probably should have pretended to be more impressed with my intelligence, so that it would have been a bigger shock when I got trounced with smartness by elementary school kids. I mean, it is a FOX show.

If nothing else, they make me feel old -- she's turning 28.

If it makes you feel better, I'll be turning 25 at the end of the month, and I fully intend to ask for a million dollars for my birthday. And also a pony. And I was at a party last night, and I totally felt older than everyone. Though I find that feeling is easy to achieve when you arrive a couple hours late, so that everyone is already wasted by the time that you get there.

I'm hungry for a taquito, even though we had perfectly good grilled cheese sandwiches with sugar snap pea pods dipped in ranch dressing for lunch.

My day has involved sleeping in and figuring out how to get the Doctor Who theme as my ringtone. Besides dressing and feeding kids. Overall, very productive.

I have such a good plan for what I would do with a million dollars after taxes! It would be so fun!

It is sad that the millions of dollars are so often wasted on boring millionaries when there are people like Alibelle who could put it to interesting use.

That's why it was cool to see Harlan Ellison's house. He designed it so that it had secret passageways and things like that. That's how you should spend your millions. By making the world cooler and more interesting.

What have you done in the last year while Matilda went from born to one?

I got my hair cut short! And I traveled some. Lost ten pounds, gained ten pounds. Alas, that's about it.

My day has involved sleeping in and figuring out how to get the Doctor Who theme as my ringtone. Besides dressing and feeding kids. Overall, very productive.

Definitely so. With two kids their age, any morning that doesn't have a small disaster is way on the plus side. Extra sleep and Dr. Who ringtones? I declare your day a winner already.

Owen, behave!

I got my hair cut short! And I traveled some. Lost ten pounds, gained ten pounds. Alas, that's about it.

The most important thing, of course, is the hair cut. Cuz it looks great.

It is sad that the millions of dollars are so often wasted on boring millionaries when there are people like Alibelle who could put it to interesting use.

I should probably make this my new tag.

Also, secret passageways are AWESOME. And a totally sound investment.

Also, secret passageways are AWESOME. And a totally sound investment.

His whole place was like that. He had a little Alice in Wonderland door you had to pass through to get to the billiards room which had a mezzanine where he wrote, overlooking the cactus garden in the back yard.

Also, he had gargoyles on his eaves.