minced garlic is a perfectly acceptable pizza topping.

Absolutely.

I only didn't list it because it seemed more like "seasoning". (Acceptable ones of which include and are pretty much limited to: garlic, garlic powder, oregano, pepper flakes, basil, parm)

I used to hitch my Breyer horses up to my Barbie carrier and play "Barbie goes West." Of course, I didn't have a Barbie so much as a Francie and a Skipper.

Nutty, it seems like your definition of pie is anything made with pie pastry, and that it's only pie pastry if you say so.

Pie pastry has a particular makeup: there are variations in the amount and type of fat, amount of sugar, and additional ingredients like nuts or spices, but yeah. Pie pastry (pate brisé, pate sucré) is a particular thing, and pies are made from pie pastry.

Mr. Kipling's apple pie has a shortbreadlike pastry I haven't seen outside his brand here.

Actually, I have made shortbread crusts -- used for smaller items like tarts, not for a full-sized pie. Shortbread crusts won't take the same kind of abuse that regular pie crusts will, because they have a much higher sugar quotient, and because they're patted into the pan rather than rolled. They burn quickly in the oven (boy, do they burn!), and can't usually be baked long enough for any fruit filling to cook. So you have to pre-cook any filling, and then assemble it after or at the very end of baking.

Which can be awesome, when you are making lime curd tarts. But while pies and tarts are closely related, I wouldn't call them synonyms for each other. Although clearly, Mr. Kipling would.

Hey, I was watching America's Test Kitchen and they showed a cobbler that was so not what I thought a cobbler is: basically - fruit and sugar with biscuits on top. They, of course, remade it to be better but it was still: fruit and sugar with biscuits.

That can't be right, can it?

I don't get pizza with exotic ingredients, generally.

Currently I like a combo of Italian sausage, feta, onions and mushrooms.

I've gotten really hooked on feta as a result of eating multiple feta omelets as cheap food while finishing the book. Hello salty goodness!

I do like the fancy upscale wood burning pizzas though. You can get a very nice one at Chow here in the city and you don't have to wait for two hours, and it comes with fancy schmancy Rocket and fennell and stuff. So good though. Perfect crust and fresh mozza.

Arinell is the closest local equivalent to a NY slice and I do like to get one and fold it up when I'm poking around in Berkeley. Very thin crust with a buttery deliciousness.

But I also really like deep dish when it's done well, and Zachary's in the East Bay does a very credible version.

Yeah, yanking Barbie's head off never stopped being fun.

Did you know if you microwave Barbie long enough, everything but her feet will melt into a puddle of goo. But her feet are amazingly resilient and will remain intact?

I'm not a fancy topping on pizza person, unless I am. What I don't get is the mixing of traditional toppings with weird exotic ones. Go one way or another, not both. One of the best pizzas I've had is in Pasadena. White pizza with spinach. SO GOOD. And I hate spinach. But the spinach is so butterygarlicyyummy that it is undeniably wonderful. LOVE.

But while pies and tarts are closely related, I wouldn't call them synonyms for each other. Although clearly, Mr. Kipling would.

Mr. Kipling certainly does--his mince pies are a staple in the UK.

So I'm also guessing:

• Not pie
• Not pie
• Not pie

To me they're all pies.

Did you know if you microwave Barbie long enough, everything but her feet will melt into a puddle of goo. But her feet are amazingly resilient and will remain intact?

No, I did not know that! Mostly because I was caught and given a Very Stern Lecture when I casually opened the microwave door with my Barbie clutched in my other hand.

Oooh, I just remembered! At the end of October, one of the local pizza places offers the Pear Primo, which is pears, mushrooms, and goat cheese. I love that pizza. Which probably makes me a pizza heretic.

Did you know if you microwave Barbie long enough, everything but her feet will melt into a puddle of goo.

awesome. though I'm trying not to think of the smell.

But her feet are amazingly resilient and will remain intact?

not if that's the part you fed to your guinea pig. while dangling her by the hair above the cage. and figuring out how you could pin it on your new baby sister. (no guinea pigs were harmed during the torture of this barbie, btw)

though I'm trying not to think of the smell.

If you try this experiment, be sure to visit a university dorm and use THEIR microwave. Actually, there are better microwave tricks to do first: ivory soap and lightbulbs to name two.