I think I definitely need a quick nap before heading out for the play tonight, because suddenly I have woozy exhaustion cancer.

Placed the order.

I love the stars sweater!!! of course!!!

I was looking on bluefly the other day to see if I could find ideas for dresses I might like (per ita's suggestion) and there wasn't a single one that I thought would look good on me! so depressing!

Nothing like knowing there's a bomb threat outside and hearing sirens go off.

Sorry about that, lisah. No ideas at all?

They'd say they wanted a receptionist, but they really wanted an assistant. I would rat them right out to the agency. There would usually be some BS about how the person who placed the order didn't really know what was required . . .

A lot of people, too many really, don't know the difference. Hearing someone call me "the receptionist" makes me LIV-ID. Yes, I do answer the phones like a mad woman and make sure when people know their appointments are here, but I also prepare files, do grant research, outreach, fundraising, shipping and receiving, some tech support. I coordinate schedules. I set up voicemails and conference calls. I am the keeper of every password in my region. I pull off multiple region-wide events and create nearly every presentation an piece of literature that comes out of this place.

I. Am. A. Fucking. Assistant.

Yeah, definitely a skill. The definitive skill I learned in journalism school was to kiss the assistant's ass. She can decide if you see Bigshot or not.

It's just a reduction of everything I do to "answering phones and greeting people with some light typing on the side." Which is actually kinda one of my problems with Jackass coworker. He doesn't really think I "do" anything since his head is too far up his ass to notice anyone else unless he feels inconvenienced.

Posable 'Hoff doll.

Posable 'Hoff doll.

Am I the only one who gets an unfortunate Dexter flashback from that link?

There are no unfortunate Dexter flashbacks.

Know your asshole footprint.

Obviously they aren't talking about me, otherwise I wouldn't be able to snicker legitimately.

Know your asshole footprint.

This one, from the 26-39 category:

1. Do you work in an office with a Foosball or Ping-Pong table?

Makes me laugh like a drain, because the office right down the hall from ours has a foosball table in their break room (visible through the large glass wall they installed; additionally, their humongous TV -- which is always tuned to ESPN -- is also visible). In their lobby they have installed a flat-panel monitor on the wall that runs a PowerPoint presentation -- some of the slides are about services the company provides, but most are pictures of the uniformly attractive (in that Stepford wife/frat boy way) employees hanging out at various social events -- invariably with very obviously placed alcoholic drinks.

It's like a frat and sorority got together after graduation, decided to form a company so they could all keep hanging out. My favorite picture from their slide show is a J. Crew-looking guy with 2 very tan women with blonde hair that doesn't look like they were born with it -- one woman on each side of J. Crew Dude. All 3 are holding beers and flashing huge Chiclet-white smiles. In the background, it's clear that they're at a bar; in case it *wasn't* obvious, there is a neon sign above their heads that says "IRISH WHISKEY."

I know I'm just being a cranky, fat, old editor with beige teeth, but if I were a potential client and saw the party pix in their lobby, I would never become a for-real-paying client.