Man, you Pink Lady haters make me sad!

I guess maybe it's because I've been suffering from a cold or hayfever, and the idea of putting anything even slightly viscous in my beverages is gross to the power of OMGWTF.

Except this season, they were made without room for tatas.

Every time I go shopping, I like to try on a few empire waist shirts and laugh uproariously. Sometimes it turns out totally hoochie, and sometimes I get misshapen lump with T. Rex arm action.

Sadly, his actual name is not Hypocritical Cockbite McFuckypants. That kind of truth in advertising would have been really useful to my cousin lo these many years ago (except that their kids are really great and sweet and smart and it'd be a loss to the world if those kids had never happened--but, oh, if he'd just been an anonymous sperm donor it would've been much better all around).

Happy news, Emily! Yay!

President A is a Holocaust denier.

After that, anything he says is all chimp bubble fork taco.

jz--so sorry. My cousin's ex was having an affair with his secretary for YEARS and the kids knew about it and he made them all swear not to tell their mother, who he was still living with. STILL furious about that.

D'oh! Also, cherry. (I think it's because I've not actually made cherry - I've made the rest. Also, vanilla. My vanilla vodka kicks ass.)

I'm going to try making ginger vodka. How long do you infuse for?

Unless his actual real name is "cockbite", in which case it might shoulda been some kind of warning.

They should all be named Earl!

My cousin's ex was having an affair with his secretary for YEARS and the kids knew about it and he made them all swear not to tell their mother, who he was still living with

Heh. I found out the other day that my best friend met her half brother when she was about four. He was six. Her parents were married, had been married for more than six years. Her mother did not know about him. I was like "WTF was your father thinking? Also, who trusts a four year old with that secret? Dumbass"

My cousin's ex was having an affair with his secretary for YEARS and the kids knew about it and he made them all swear not to tell their mother, who he was still living with.

That's vile -- the affair is bad enough, but I can't even imagine the levels of fucked-upness for years after, decades after, it would cause to demand your own children's complicity in that secret.

President A is a Holocaust denier.

Ugh. I hadn't known that. Down to my mental basement he goes, or possibly to the sewage line underneath the basement.

Also, who trusts a four year old with that secret?

How long before she told?

Emily--that's a tremendous relief for you.

My sister got me up to date on our family yesterday. When my mother took the phone she said overhearing all that stuff made her depressed. I pretend I don't really know them, and it helps. Otherwise it gets way too sad.

Just had a travail ordering two bagels and a bottle of water. If your employees don't speak English or are dumb (I'm voting the latter, because he asked me what kind of bread I wanted my sesame seed bagels to be, and told me they didn't have the water in stock that we were both staring at), please hide them from me. I'm not good with temptation these days.