I don't know I don't know I don't know

Watching the end, I realized just how badly, how deeply I yearn for all the Brents who infest our real world to have that moment. Even if they're incapable of doing better, I want to see the awful dawning of the moment when they know better.

I'd say that maybe Simone got worse? John and Chidi definitely seemed to improve over their beginning state, and Brent seemed pretty static throughout.

Simone really wasn't a bad person at the start, was she?

Since the neighborhood is in the Medium Place, Simone and John may well have run into Mindy or Derek (hopefully not literally) in their flight; depending on time elapsed before the experiment was frozen, they could have learned a lot about what's actually been happening if Mindy decided to vent her frustrations.

I am quietly amazed by a Chidi who is resolute. Before, he would have run out the clock dithering between helping someone in mortal peril and his partner's urging them to run; this is a man who was famously unable to choose between two hats.

I'm going to miss the podcast nearly as much as I'll miss the show. Mark Evan Jackson is such a nerd, he's as thrilled talking with the animal handler and the head of props as he is chatting with the lead actors. Learning that all of Jameela Jamil's dresses have pockets and the pockets invariably have chocolate in them is a bonus.

Right? The podcast has been a golden gift. I haven't finished this week's yet but learning about AD qualification requirements was fascinating!

I was trying to think about what Simone's flaws are, how she would need to improve, and I don't know. The solipsism was really only after she died. If the Judge gave the new humans a test like Chidi with the hats, etc, what might herd be? Brent and John have a lot of possibilities (and John keeping Jason's secret is actually a pretty good one for him) but I have no idea for Simone.

And everyone going "How many hours?!?"

You know a thing that amazes me? Apparently, Jason has not slipped up once with Chidi - there have been no moments of "Hey, remember before, when we stayed up all night and ate pizza?"

Pretty dope, yeah.

I wonder if Simone didn't improve because they wiped her memory. Maybe she didn't improve, because she was tampered with. Some of her identity (whatever was formed by her experiences with and memory of Team Cockroach on Earth and her relationship with Chidi) is gone.

I don't know. I just went away from the episode feeling like she got worse, but that she'd been altered, so I'm not sure how much I think that's her fault. She did get consumed by her quest for the truth though, and then finding a way to reveal that truth to her friends, and maybe that's a good, even if leaving Brent in the pit was bad.

Even though Brent didn't improve in a quantifiable way, recognizing he needs to is fricking huge, if he's graded on a Brent curve.

I don't know what to make of John. I'm not sure I've paid enough attention to him.

I have been thinking Chidi and Doug Forcett have things in common. They just reacted differently because their earthly circumstances were different.

Doug had this vision of what the truth of the afterlife would be, and he fretted about everything, and spent his life hung up on minutia.

Chidi studied ethics and fretted about everything, and spent his life afraid to make decisions.

Chidi's fear to make decisions wasn't, imo, all that different from Doug being afraid to do anything for himself (e.g. including drinking water, rather than purified urine). It was a slightly different manifestation of the same root problem -- fear.

This time out in the Medium Place, Chidi thought he was already in the Good Place. Unafraid of erring, without knowing how the afterlife works, he really rose to the top.

Jason, I think has come a long way, even though he wasn't part of the experiment, at least as far as it was presented. Eleanor and Tahani have further improved, too.

It's on in a few hours. Jim is in Nashville.

. . . aaaaaaaaargh, I can wait until he gets home tomorrow night. DON'T WANNA.