There actually is! [link]

If you're Ted Mosby, isn't bad enough to be standing there in the rain -- holding a bright yellow umbrella -- the first time you run into the person who left you at the altar. Oh no, if you're Ted, your ex- is going to have her baby-daddy, Tony, with her and he's going to pity you. After their chance encounter, Tony comes to Ted to makes amends. His family is influential, and he wants to set Ted up with a job as an architecture professor at Columbia.

BTW, is that our Cindy writing that?

Given the number of people that (while I was looking for a tenure-track job) said to me in all honesty "Why don't you just teach at Columbia?", I suppose that explanation seems reasonable enough.

Indeed it is. Edit -- it is our Cindy. It is only a reasonable explanation in TV-land.

It is only a reasonable explanation in TV-land.

Quite.

Do Americans really call *all* college teachers 'professor'? Our lecturers don't get that title until they've published ridiculous numbers of books and done a bucketload of other academic stuff over many years. Ted doesn't even have a doctorate, does he?

Yes, that was my only gripe about the episode. Loved the 'having the talk' thing. I continue to be a Robin/Barney 'shipper. I feel like they're going to break my heart with that storyline eventually, but hey ho.

Those conventions depend on the school, in my experience, but it's not crazy that a lecturer without a Ph.D. would call himself "Professor." I don't know how they roll at Columbia.

I went to a tiny undergrad, and we called all the professors with Doctorates "Doctor" and all the ones without "Professor" and the nuns "Sister".

Where I work, you are only allowed to be called professor if you are appointed in a tenure track professorial position. Which leads to problems, because most teaching faculty in our nursing school are non-tenure track, but the students tend to call them "Professor" anyway and then they get in trouble.

As adjunct faculty, and one who is indifferent to what students call me, I get a good amount of "Miss Hobbs" and a few "Professor Hobbs", and a lot of students not referring to me by name.

I tend to tell the story of trying to get my 4th and 5th graders to call me "Mistress Hobbs" after I got my Master's, and how they thought I was funny and wouldn't do it. That joke, however, requires that you know that "Mistress" is a feminine of "Master", which is a bit much on the first day of class, apparently, even at the Undergrad level. I think any student who did refer to me as "Mistress Hobbs" would get massive brownie points.

Wikipedia informs me that in the UK and some other countries, the term 'professor'

refers to a senior academic who holds a departmental chair, especially as head of the department, or a personal chair awarded specifically to that individual. [...] In the United Kingdom, Ireland, South Africa, Australia, New Zealand, The Netherlands, United States, Canada, and Hong Kong it is a legal title conferred by a university denoting the highest academic rank.

Which makes sense of my experience of who we get to call 'professor'. There are two professors in my department, both chairs of sub-departments within it.

Do Americans really call *all* college teachers 'professor'?

As an undergrad, I did. As a grad student, Ph.D.'s were "doctor."