This is MY surgery and MY recovery and WHY THE FUCK DOES NO ONE UNDERSTAND THAT?

Oh honey, they will NEVER understand that. Not with surgery, not with jobs, not with your wife, not with your kids. You'll never get them to understand.

But you CAN get them to respect your wishes if you insist on it. (And my "respect" I don't mean in any emotional sense, but in a practical sense.)

Say "no". Go ahead and piss them off. They'll survive.

"Mom, with all due respect, that will stress me out worse than staying at my own place. I know you think I'm selfish, but you have to respect my wishes about how I wanted to be treated after my own surgery. I know what's best for me."

I've been skimming a lot lately, but whatever happened with Kelly Kapoor?

She responded to my e-mail, and I responded to her, and she never responded back to that one. And now my mom is telling me not to pursue her any further anyway because they don't really know much about her and her family, and she's found this wonderful girl who's gotten great reviews.

Polter, there are days when I suspect you're merely the star in the Bollywood version of The Truman Show. There's no one bursting into song in your vicinity, is there?

Alternately, someone is in the bushes near you taking copious notes for a telenovela.

Huh. The new Daniel Silva book has managed to annoy me within two pages. The last one took at least five chapters.

I had a really good day, went to the football game and my team looked mostly good. There was some inconsistencies but it's better than it has been.

The game was marked by oddness. The TV Time Out Guy collapsed. We, on the alumni side, couldn't see who was down at first since everyone was on the sidelines. Then we realized it was the TV Time Out Guy, he had to be taken off by a stretcher. Half time was timed badly so that the tribute to Bon Jovi didn't end on time, actually they did this weird thing where they put the crowd through some cheers then did the tribute. They did the 2 newer Bon Jovi songs then Livin' on a Prayer for the students (who sang the chorus loud enough to be heard over the other side).

NC State's quarterback misread a play, or the ref did something stupid and the quarter back threw the ball and smacked the ref in the face.

The end of the third quarter was delayed by 50 mins or so during a lightning delay (the only thing that will delay a football game).

There was also a big giant rainbow.

Miami lost, which was also good. and LSU will hopeful beat UF. GO LSU!

PC - hope all goes well with Number Five (...aaand now I'm wondering if she's a Cylon - we haven't seen all the models yet, after all).

Oh dear, and now your mum's suggesting you go to your grandma's place after surgery? Aw, she's trying to find a middle ground - that's a good thing. I know it's not what you want, but she's clearly trying to wrap her head around the notion that her visiting you would NOT be a good thing - and that's got to have been a little bit bruising to the ego/sense of self as good mum, so fair play to her. Still annoying for you, but it's actually kind of encouraging, really.

When you get right down to it, what she wants is to feel that she's doing right by her child, and that you appreciate this.

Maybe try something like: All these suggestions show me that you love me and want to help make my recovery a stress-free time, and I really appreciate that, and I love you too, and I'm grateful that you care enough to think about me. But what I would find genuinely restful is the chance to have some alone time. I understand that you are worrying about me overexerting myself; this is what I plan on doing to make sure it doesn't happen - I'll be getting lots of bedrest (or whatever) and relaxing with some shows, I'll be eating well because I've (got frozen dinners/will have nutritious deliveries/whatever) and I know that I can phone you/cousin/uncle/whoever in case of emergency. As an adult, I know myself well enough to know what I will find restful; I realise that this may not be what YOU would want, if you were in my situation, but we are different people and respecting my wishes in this case would really be the best way of showing that you love and support me.

Maybe?

Is there any way that you can let her do something tangible, like send you home-made food or some kind of comforting thing, so she can feel she's done her bit?

Omnis - bless you! We need to get that damn teleporter sorted out, eh?

So yesterday I bought six new books, spending um don't ask how much, and I'm presently reading Stardust, which is just as much fun as anticipated. I'm really glad that I'd avoided reading it before seeing the film, because inevitably one would be all 'OMGWTF, they changed X Y Z, the fuckers', whereas without having any point of comparison I just got to enjoy the hell out of the movie, and now I get to enjoy the hell out of the book. It's a win-win scenario!

Oh dear, and now your mum's suggesting you go to your grandma's place after surgery? Aw, she's trying to find a middle ground - that's a good thing. I know it's not what you want, but she's clearly trying to wrap her head around the notion that her visiting you would NOT be a good thing - and that's got to have been a little bit bruising to the ego/sense of self as good mum, so fair play to her. Still annoying for you, but it's actually kind of encouraging, really.

No, it was really good of her. She said I could stay in the room, and she wouldn't bother me, but she said it in a neutral way, not a bitter, offended way. My grandmother's place has more space, obviously.

Is there any way that you can let her do something tangible, like send you home-made food or some kind of comforting thing, so she can feel she's done her bit?

I'm trying to figure out how to suggest I only stay there a couple days, and then they drop me off back here with food and stuff.

Tonight, I got to drive around the Universal backlot -- the real backlot, with all the standing sets -- at night.

It was awesome. I just drove by them, but seeing all these uninhabited sections of old west town, random gas station, "New York" city streets, all feeling abandoned, yet lit here and there by ghost lights, was just plain magical.

It's the simplest of things, but it was very cool to me.