I'm doing ok. More stable, I think I've just figured out how to compensate. I still have a few bouts that remind me that it is not gone. I had to reschedule my follow-up appointment - so I don't see my doc again until the 17th.

I figure if the MRI showed something serious, I'd have heard by now. That reminds me, I still haven't gotten my replacement ATM card.

Wow, Suzi, your mom sounds amazing! I'm glad she's doing so well.

My favorite job is now. But it's also way harder and more upsetting than any job I've ever held.

Up until now my favorite job was working as followspot operator at a teeny dinner theater. Loved it. It was performance, but invisible behind-the-scenes (when you did it right) performance. Ideal. Boss was a man who would curse you up one side and down the other if you screwed up by malice or carelessness, but would tell you if you did well. And wouldn't give you a hard time if you just made a mistake. Only boss I've ever had that really genuinely cared about his employees. Not that you'd ever know through his gruff exterior, but you stand up and do your job for him and he valued you. Best boss ever.

Was today toast day or did I read that way back in Natter? (In Natter I'm always in the past)

One of my big problems with my life right now, aside from the no $, which always blows, is that everything is so commingled...my work life and home life...friends and associates.

{{JZ}} You are human and humans make mistakes. I know it sucks and is incredibly frustrating, but don't beat up someone who I like quite a bit.

WindSparrow, what others said. You affect lives in a positive way. I can think of nothing more important.

I am happily tired. Went out to dinner with some coworkers after school then went to the big Homecoming game. Truly, I went to see the marching band. They were quite fun and we left after halftime. The score was 30-0 at that point and we were losing. How sad to be so truly spanked at your homecoming game! I just looked up the final score and it was 37-0. Yikes.

At the game, I got my first student yell. I was walking back to the bleachers from the restroom and behind me I heard, "Hey, Miss LastName!!" I turned to see one of my students waving at me. I kinda dug it. I'm a goof.

After we left, we went back to a coworker's place and hung out. Nice and fun!

finally catching up on recorded shows. Watching pushing daisies. Did anyone else feel it had an Amélie feel to it?

Ah, JZ, you're juggling so much. I'm sorry you're beating yourself up over this. I wish you knew how really amazing you are.

This! This!

I mean, love, I totally get the whole OMGHowCanIBeSoFuckingUseless reflex, but these things happen to all of us from time to time.

One possible suggestion, wrt the $25 - when I was at University, and we were all completely fucking up our finances beyond the telling of it, the Student Advisor recommended phoning the bank and trying to talk them down from slapping on additional charges - and startlingly, this actually did work. Don't know whether that's something you'd be at all comfortable with trying, but it wouldn't hurt, maybe?

KristenT - looks like I skimmed too much - I'm glad to hear it's a little more sane where you are school/parentwise than I was fearing.

favorite job - teaching sailing to 8-year-olds

next favorite - teaching poetry and writing to arts magnet school sophomores through seniors.

Gah. Andi, that was a lovely post. And Susan and JZ, you both deserve more ease and recognition from your own psyches than you sometimes allow yourselves. It's kind of the flip side to what Susan said about not remotely judging other people the way you judge yourself - if you could see you the way we see you yadda yadda. Just since I've known you both of you have made such huge strides in making more out of your lives, pushing closer to where and who you want to be. So while the occasional freak-out is totally understandable, do try to let yourselves fuck up or get rattled or feel stressed out without letting it overshadow the rest of the awsomeness that is y'all.