then hating myself for having so fucked up my adult life that I'm not in a job that demands respect

I know this demon. I spend a lot of time squashing its head.

because one of my students is going on a safari to Africa.

sputter. Kristen - that's not fair to you - or to the student. I know some schools do some schedule shifting in cases of illness or family events (not the 'hey! honey, we're going on safari!' kind, though). What this is going to teach about the importance of keeping deadlines and working within schedules is what keeps VW waiting for her tutoring students when she's really hungry, I think. Not to meld the thread, but - well -?

Cashmere, twolumps agrees with juliana: [link]

I don't understand why Safari!Student can't take a makeup exam when she gets back.

I don't think there is a job that demands respect. You'd think the presidency would demand respect, but not so much these days. The person demands respect. Right now she just knows your job title, not you.

Yes. This.

What Ginger said.

Well. I guess it's more about my own self-respect than anything else. I mean, you look at everything I did before I was 22, and you'd see a kid who could've been just about anything with the possible exception of an engineer or a mathematician. And what am I now? Operations Manager for a small department at a hospital. My collegiate peers are doctors and lawyers and professors and successful entrepreneurs and the like. Sure, I'm writing, but until I actually sell a book, what does that prove? For all anyone, myself included, knows, I'm a terrible writer. Of all the things I thought I would accomplish when I was 18 and leaving my hometown, the only one I've succeeded at is leaving my hometown for good.

And yes, I know this isn't the way I should be thinking, but it's really hard to unwrite this particular mental script.

I graduated from college at 19. I should be some kinda super-genius full professor or something, right?

Which is to say, I totally know how you feel. Every time I hear about someone from my graduating class, I compare myself to them and inevitably feel like I've fallen short (I'm not advanced in my career, I don't have kids, I haven't traveled the world). And I too know better. I totally feel ya.

I comfort myself with the thought that when I come to write my memoirs, it will all come together. Er, somehow. Why would anyone read my memoirs, you say? Shut up, I say.

So, I had a meeting about the demon holiday music today and it sounds like it might well be leading to even more work if things go well.

I don't talk to anyone I went to college with. I find that works well.

Oooh, more EEEEVIL work, Drew?

I am mostly OK with where I am professionally, but then I never had big ambition to be fancy schmancy. OTOH, knowing that most of my peers are married and having kids freaks me right out and leads me down a "OMG unless I meet someone NOW and love them and get married soon and have kids I WILL BE OLD AND ALONE AND EATEN BY CATS". Which is clearly stupid. But.