Raq, perhaps your entire family should arrange to be, um, called out of town when your sister et al. plan to arrive? Maybe an emergency visit to ... someplace far, far, away? Possibly you should be under quarantine, with no visitors allowed? Suddenly descending on you, without even checking, is unreasonable. bah!

Aimee, good luck with your tiny overlord (overlady?) - she will probably never let MM forget about breaking her dinosaur. And I thought of you yesterday - I was walking up the street and I saw two of the men in gaucho pants from the local Fogo de Chao (Argentine place for carnivores).

And, in other news, a snack attack with a difference.

I already responded with "Would love to see you guys, but I'm not sure we'll all fit" and was informed that their tickets are non-refundable.

I would be so tempted to say something like, "And this is my problem, why, exactly?" How much trouble would you get in with the rest of the family if you sent them a list of nearby motels?

I was going to suggest what Anne and sj did -- tell your sister that you don't have room, and she should have checked with you to even see what your schedule is like for those 10 (!) days, and you'll be busy, so here's a list of hotels.

I mean, really. You aren't obligated to house your sister and 3 other people, especially when you *aren't* the one who offered.

And, in other news, a snack attack with a difference.

Can you imagine the carnage if it had been a bag of Doritos? Because those things are triangle-shaped -- they have *points* on them!

Raq, you might want to make sure that your visitors aren't completely comfortable. That is, give them the makeshift guest spaces with the lumpy mattresses and noise. Just so they know they get what they pay for.

A lecturer has asked for a vanity search. She's convinced she's been cited "hundreds" of times for a certain article that she wrote back in 1986, and she seems upset that I can only find about 20 citations. Lady, I'm good at this, get over it. I am, however, screening my calls so I don't have to deal with her in anything but email. I hope she doesn't know where to find my office.

Aimee, I hope your painting muscles feel better today and that Em stops finding pieces of that dino that MM so cruelly destroyed and killed in the prime of life.

Post Toasties: Anyone here have a TIAA-CREF account that they're having trouble logging on to?

She's convinced she's been cited "hundreds" of times for a certain article that she wrote back in 1986, and she seems upset that I can only find about 20 citations.

Pad it a bit. You know, Smith-Jones Family Christmas Newsletter, 1987. "Susie-Beth got her note thingy published. We're starting to think she's planning to stick with the lawyer business rather than settling down. Anyone got any good lawyer jokes? JUST KIDDING, SUSIE-BETH!!"

That would be so much fun, amych!

She seems to be blaming the lack of citations found on the fact that I'm not taking into account her name changes over the years. She's had three husbands and has added/subtracted/hypenated at various times, but I haven't been searching that way because one never knows what she was using.

Well, fuck. The fit's really hitting the shan today.

It's only 10 minutes past 9am and Boss thus far has a) found out he needs to put another few thousand dollars into a dumpster-puller truck he's already put $15k into and b) fired the driver of said truck.

I'll be over here quietly collecting money and evicting people.

a) found out he needs to put another few thousand dollars into a dumpster-puller truck he's already put $15k into and b) fired the driver of said truck.

Lemme guess - the driver held a "hot tub and strippers" party in the back of the truck?

that they're having trouble logging on to?

nope.

ps: dear VainProf. Plz see memo on authorship and last names. Get clue. Pick one and stick with it. Because if Sparky can't find you, GUESS WHAT. No one else can either. Kthxbye.