She's convinced she's been cited "hundreds" of times for a certain article that she wrote back in 1986, and she seems upset that I can only find about 20 citations.

Pad it a bit. You know, Smith-Jones Family Christmas Newsletter, 1987. "Susie-Beth got her note thingy published. We're starting to think she's planning to stick with the lawyer business rather than settling down. Anyone got any good lawyer jokes? JUST KIDDING, SUSIE-BETH!!"

That would be so much fun, amych!

She seems to be blaming the lack of citations found on the fact that I'm not taking into account her name changes over the years. She's had three husbands and has added/subtracted/hypenated at various times, but I haven't been searching that way because one never knows what she was using.

Well, fuck. The fit's really hitting the shan today.

It's only 10 minutes past 9am and Boss thus far has a) found out he needs to put another few thousand dollars into a dumpster-puller truck he's already put $15k into and b) fired the driver of said truck.

I'll be over here quietly collecting money and evicting people.

a) found out he needs to put another few thousand dollars into a dumpster-puller truck he's already put $15k into and b) fired the driver of said truck.

Lemme guess - the driver held a "hot tub and strippers" party in the back of the truck?

that they're having trouble logging on to?

nope.

ps: dear VainProf. Plz see memo on authorship and last names. Get clue. Pick one and stick with it. Because if Sparky can't find you, GUESS WHAT. No one else can either. Kthxbye.

nope.

Drat. It even tells me that my email isn't in the system, despite the fact that's where all my statements arrive. I guess I know whose telephone system I'll be navigating during my lunch hour.

the driver held a "hot tub and strippers" party in the back of the truck?

and forgot to invite the boss?

blinking in awe of the audacity of Raq's relatives.

Not sure how you'd get out of the Thanksgiving thing, but the list of motels/hotels in the area is definitely on the list of good ideas. OR, what about this, "Sister Dear, don't you remember, when you first asked about coming to stay, we agreed on [dates that are totally not the ones she has her tickets for, or that you were all going to meet for a Carribean Cruise, or something else that has about as much to do with her reality as her current plans have to do with yours]".

still blinking

I'm having the opposite issue as Raq. My aunt demanded that I stay with her this weekend. I really like her, but I've never spent more than a few hours with her. Or any of the folks on that side of my family, really. I can't afford a hotel, not that I'd be allowed anyway...but I need my space, darn it.

Will be taking my Ativan with me. I haven't used it in a long time, but I'm already freaking out.

OK, how about my sister and co. go to stay with Suzi's aunt? That works.

One of my friends at work said, "We'll babysit Mal if you need to take your family "hiking." Or something. And, use quicklime."

ION, oh snap! The radio was playing Radiohead "I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo" and as it ended the DJ said, "...and, we always send that song out to Ann Coulter."

But....I like my aunt.