Mayonnaise is the ooze of the devil, unless it's holding together chicken salad with the absolute minimum amount.

eew. Just picturing what ooze that is.

Ok, quick poll: Is a couple engaged when they agree to get married, or when after such agreement, a gemstone ring changes hands?

Since I don't think a ring even needs to be part of the deal, I'd say the former. I feel sad for anyone who thinks an engagement isn't "real" without a rock. At the same time, I can understand not feeling it's real until you've set a date. Insane troll logic? Perhaps.

The tradition of an engagement ring is much more recent than the tradition of agreeing to get married. I've never understood the distinction myself, and am in the ornery-and-purely-theoretical camp that says "Why do I need a ring to be engaged and he doesn't?"

A friend of mine got engaged. Her bf got down on a knee and flashed a pair of Jimmy Buffet tickets and said "would you marry me?" She was so filled with glee. Not only engaged, but tickets to see Buffet!!! As she put it "a much more practical gift than a silly rock".

I like this story. Obviously he knew her well enough... good foundation for a marriage in my book.

October 1st they get hitched. It'll be the 2nd wedding of hers I'll attend, and hopefully the last. Sadly, it wasn't me on the bended knee. But they are a great couple, so I can't complain.

I'd like to think my hypothetical fiance would more appreciate an engagement laptop than a ring.

But then there's a side to me that's annoyed that I'm expected to shell out big bucks for and engagement-anything. Two months salary? There's so many more practical things to do with that money. Think of all the trips that could pay for....

I didn't get a rock until 5 years into being married. The ring is unimportant.

When Mr. Jane and I got engaged, we went down to Deep Ellum and sat in front of our friend's loft and had an impromptu engagement party with random passers by.

I kind of like the idea of a ring, but have no real interest in how much it's worth. I'd appreciate something cool and vintage better than a huge diamond. (And I know that my first thought on getting a diamond would be "Do you know where it was mined?" which isn't terribly romantic.)

"Do you know where it was mined?"

The Love Mines of Venus. By, um, cherubs and shit.

I've never understood the distinction myself, and am in the ornery-and-purely-theoretical camp that says "Why do I need a ring to be engaged and he doesn't?"

At least the exchange of high school class rings can be equitable - not on a practical scale, as the parties often cannot actually wear them on their fingers, and resort to wearing them on chains.

There is even more obsurdity in the so-called "Promise Ring" - an inexpensive diamond chip signifying that the happy couple has promised to get engaged. Those who participate in this foolishness are oh, so earnest about it, and do not see how silly it is to promise to make a promise to make a set of socially and legally binding promises.